Chapter Thirty-Five

Day One

"Hey, Joey. I just want to talk to you.. I can't even tell you how sorry I am.. I'm an asshole I know.. I just.. I just.. Just call me back, please. I love you." I listened to the message and then deleted it from my phone and my memory.

Day Two
"I get that you don't want to talk to me.. I mean you didn't call me back and you don't answer the texts but I miss you and I just want to make things right. Love you." I listened.

"Why don't you just call him back?" Sophie asked me.
"I don't know what to say."
"Aren't you going to the game tonight?" She asked me.
"Yeah, with Connor. I want to support him, but I don't want to talk to him."
"So you won't see him after?"
"No, hopefully he won't even know I am there."
"This doesn't make sense, Joey."
"Nothing makes sense anymore." I said.

Day Six
"You are probably getting sick of all the messages I am leaving you, but I am not giving up. I will call you everyday until you call me back. You mean more to me than you will ever know. I am sorry and I don't know what else to say or do. I miss you and I love you.. just call me back.. please."

"How many messages has he left you?" Simon asked.
"Probably two every day since it happened. He texts me too."
"Hes presistent."
"Yeah.. its not like I am mad at him. I mean I was mad at him and he hurt me.. its just I don't know what to say to him. I don't know what to say and I don't know how to look at him and not be hurt. I am not mad at him.. its just when I think about him, my heart breaks a little bit. I don't want to talk to him until I can think about him and not hurt inside."
"Joey, I don't know when that will be, but you can't avoid him forever."
"I'm just not going home until I know I can handle it."

Day 14
"Where are you going?" Sophie asked me.
"My mom called. Jason came home sick today and she needs me to work the dinner shift." I said.
"So you are going back to Sewickley?"
"I do live there, Sophie."
"Yeah, but you haven't been there for like two weeks. What if you see him?"
"I'm going to go from my house to the cafe, the chances that I see him in those 5 minutes are very slim.. plus if I see him I will be in my car. Anyways, I was thinking that tomorrow I might wait for him after the game."
"Okay.. have fun then."
"It won't be fun.. I'll be serving people food." I said laughing.

It was like six when he walked in with a girl I am assuming was Brittany. I was determined to not let them know how much it was killing me.. so I walked over to them and was the most perky waitress in the world.
"Hi! Welcome to the Cafe. Can I get you something to drink?" I asked.
"Joey?" Sidney asked confused.
"Hi, Sidney."
"What are you doing here?"
"My family does own this place." I said.
"Hi, I'm Brittany." She interupted.
"Yeah, I figured. Its nice to meet you. But, could I just take your drink order?" I said and then they gave it to me. I went in the back and just tried to gather myself. I was standing back there for a few minutes before I felt his hand on my shoulder.
"Sidney." I said looking up and he just pulled me into his arms. "I didn't want you to see me like this." I said trying to wipe away the tears.
"Its fine, Joey."
"Its not fine. I thought I was okay.. I was even going to see you tomorrow after the game.. but I guess I'm not okay."
"If I knew you were working, I wouldn't have come and brought her here. I didn't think you would be in Sewickley. I mean I have left you so many messages.."
"I didn't know what to say to you.. I didn't know what to do."
"You don't have to say anything, Joey. Just let me be there for you." He said pulling me closer.
"You can't, Sidney. You can't make this better.. you made it this way."
"I have to try and make it better."
"Just go back with Brittany."
"She left. I told her I had to talk to someone."
"So she knows about me?"
"No.. she knows that there is a you. She knows that I had a huge fight with my best friend."
"I just don't get why you had to bring her here."
"I'm a jerk and I wasn't thinking." He said. "Can we just hang out or something?"

Later that Night
"I am sorry I never called you back.. I listened to them all and everytime I thought about it. I mean I really wanted to talk to you.. I just.. it just hurts."
"You have to believe me.. its not like I wanted this to happen."
"I don't get what you thought would happen though."
"I just met her at a club and then it just happened."
"I get that things happen but you told me you didn't want a girlfriend."
"She's not a girlfriend. Its not like that."
"It still hurts, Sidney. It hurts to think about you with another girl. It hurts to think that we aren't together and that you don't care anymore."
"I do care, Joey. I do.. I never stopped caring."
"I kind of over reacted that night. I don't know.. the team has been playing well." I said changing the subject.
"Yeah.. its been good. I wish you could have seen the games."
"I was there."
"what?" He asked confused.
"I've been to almost all the home games."
"How?"
"Connor's dad has tickets. I just didn't want to wait for you because I didn't know if she would have been there or something. Its just weird to me."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean how do I go from being the only girl in your life.. to be number two."
"You aren't number two.. you will never be number two. You could have come down."
"I wanted to support you but I didn't want to have to deal with it all."
"It doesn't have to be weird, Joey."
"It does though.. I still love you."
"I love you too."
"No, Sidney. I am still inlove with you. I can't even imagine being with someone else right now."
"Joey, I'm sorry."
"I'm not mad at you, Sidney. You just hurt me.. seeing you with her hurts me and I don't think it will never not hurt."
"But we can be friends?"
"I can be friends with you, but I don't want to have to be with the both of you. I mean maybe someday.. but right now, I can't do it."
"I miss you Joey and I never wanted to hurt you. I don't want to see you hurt or cry and it kills me that I am causing you so much pain." He said trying to wipe away the few tears that started streaming down my face.
"I know, Sidney. I'm sorry that its this way. I'm sorry if I did something to make you not want to be with me anymore."
"Baby, you didn't do anything. I truly wanted to focus on hockey. I didn't see this Brittany thing coming.. I didn't see any of this happening. I see forever when I look in your eyes."
"Sidney, you can't see forever with me and then not be with me right now."
"But its the truth."
"Well its a shitty feeling sitting here hearing you say that stuff."
"I'm sorry."
"Stop saying that! I get it, you are sorry! It doesn't make it all go away."
"I know.. lets just try and go back to normal."
"I'll try because you are important to me.. but I don't know what normal is anymore."