Chapter Thirty

"Oh my gosh, Sidney!" I said letting go of his hand and walking into this beautiful hotel room. He has hundreds of roses and candles. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. There was also a table set up with two candles.
"I thought we could have dinner up here." He said.
"I don't even know what to say.." I said looking at him.
"I love you." He said staring into my eyes.
"I love you more than I could say." I said kissing him.

After dinner Sidney brought in Cold Stone and chocolate covered strawberries.
"Do you know the only reason I like Valentines Day is because of strawberries?" I said completely serious.
"Yes babe. I do know you. So you really don't like this day for any other reason?"
"No, Sidney. You know I think its a stupid day. I mean I love you and this is an amazing night but still like did we really need this to be a holiday to tell eachother how we feel?"
"I like Valentines Day."
"Really? I didn't know that."
"I like doing things like this. I like being able to give someone the perfect night."
"I've never actually had a boyfriend on Valentines Day. This is a first."
"A good first?"
"Of course." I said eating a stawberry.
"So you know what I brought?" He asked.
"No?"
"The series finale of Dawsons Creek." He said pulling out a DVD.
"Are you serious!?" I said so excited.
"Yeah.. we are going to watch it.. finally."
"You are the best." I said kissing him.

Feb. 20, 2008
"Hey, babe. Its me. I have to do these interviews today so I can't go to that thing today. I'm sorry..I'll call you later." I heard Sidney say on my voicemail. As soon as I said that I went to my bedroom upstairs. Jacob followed me, like he always does.
"Whats wrong?"
"Sidney can't come."
"Why?"
"He has some media stuff to do or whatever." I said.
"Are you mad?"
"Of course I am mad. I told him like three weeks ago about the grandparents and aunts and uncles coming in. I told him that I wanted him to be here with me. I mean you are going to have Sarah.. all the kids are having friends over.. who will I have? Oh yeah.. just Jo over there without anyone by her side."
"I'm sure he wanted to be here."
"If he wanted to be here, he would be here."
"Jo.. it might not be as easy as you make it."
"Its pretty easy to me, Jake. He gives everything to that team every day. I just wanted this one thing and of course I didn't get it. I don't know. It doesn't matter."
"Where's that handsome boy of yours?" Nan asked coming over to me when I walked back downstairs.
"Oh you know.. he couldn't be here." I said.
"Whats he doing?"
"He had to do some hockey stuff." I said.
"Where is Sidney?" Aunt Carol asked.
"He couldn't be here." I said and then left the room.

"Hey, babe." Sidney said walking into my bedroom way later that night.
"Hi."
"Are you mad about today?"
"No, I mean I love being that girl who has no one and having to explain to every single person in my family that my boyfriend is playing hockey. I mean whatever."
"Joey, you know if I could have been here I would have been here."
"You had to do that stuff today? You couldn't do it anyother day? Like seriously?" I asked.
"I'm sorry."
"I'm not mad.. it just hurt." I said.
"Are you sure?"
"I'm not really sure about anything. But, I am not mad at you."
"I love you." He said.
"I know." I said.

Feb. 25, 2008
"Hey." I said seeing Sidney walk into my bedroom. "I like how you just stroll right in these days." I said laughing.
"Whats wrong?" I said and he just sat down.
"I need to talk to you about something."
"What? It can't be that serious, Sidney. " I said trying to lighten him up.
"It is serious." He said and my face just fell.
"Just say it, Sidney."
"I've just been thinking about that day that I couldn't meet your family."
"And.."
"Its like I feel like I can't be the guy the team needs to be and be the guy I know you deserve." He said whispering.
"I knew that I was number 2 in your life.. I always knew I was behind your first love, hockey.. but it still hurts when its like real."
"Its not like I'm putting hockey above you." He said and I just looked at him. "I just don't want to hurt you and I want you to be happy and I just need to focus on hockey."
"funny,because what makes me happy is you." I said having the tears fall.
"Don't cry.. I love you."
"How can you love me and then break up with me?"
"I do love you and its not like I am breaking up with you. I just can't have a girlfriend right now because its like I don't want to hurt you."
"You are hurting me because you are breaking up with me!" I said crying.
"I love you.. I just don't want to worry about not calling you or being late at the game or something. I jsut don't want to have to pick hockey over you."
"You are picking hockey over me.. thats just how it is."
"Babe, please don't cry." He said wiping away some of the tears.
"Sidney.. it just hurts. I know you don't want to hurt me and I know you want this to be better.. its just I don't know how it gets easier when I am not with the boy I love with my whole heart. I don't know how it will be okay." I said and then he started tearing up.
"I love you.. isn't that what matters?"
"It does matter.. its just like I don't get why it has to end, but its fine. I will be fine." I said trying to suck it up.
"Not that much will change, Joey."
"how? we aren't us?"
"I just.. I don't know. Just know that I love you."
"I know that, I love how hockey beats me and its not even a girl."
"It didn't beat you."
"Where I am standing.. you pick hockey over me."
"I'm sorry and I love you and I will always love you.. I just need time to just focus on hockey."
"you are acting like I am this huge distraction."
"you aren't. Its just with the trade happening and me getting back on the ice.. I just need my head to be there at all times."
"I get it." I said and his face got a little happier. "Doesn't make it easier." I said whispering.
"I don't know what you want me to do."
"I think you should just leave.." I said wiping away tears.
"Joey.. I don't want to leave you like this."
"I'm fine, Sidney. Seriously."
"I love you. I really really do love you."
"I know.. just." I said.
"I'll call you later.. please just.."
"What?"
"I just don't want you to question that I love you."
"I don't question it. I question why the fact you don't want to be with me."
"I do want to be with you.. its not like I'm choosing to be with another girl. "
"I know.. its still hard, Sidney. It doesn't change it. I love you.. bye." I said then he left.