Chapter Fifty-Nine

“Are you okay?” Jake came into my room later that night after Connor left.

“What do you think Jake?” I said giving him attitude.

“You don’t have to be a bitch.” He said leaving.

“No, Jake. I’m sorry.” I said and he stopped.

“I know it has to suck.”

“Yeah.. its just I don’t even know what to do now.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, everyday I would go somewhere with Sidney. I would watch him play hockey or we would plan around his schedule. Now, he isn’t here. It just hurts.”

“I know.. did I tell you that Sophie and I are talking.” He said.

“No, what? Tell me. Atleast one of us should be happy in love.” I said smiling.

“Yeah, it just kind of happened. And you are in love too, Jo. I can’t imagine what it would feel like be dating him, I can’t imagine knowing that it would be like this. I’m sorry.. maybe the Hamptons will help.”

“The Hamptons will be nice, but its not just going to make me stop missing him. Its just it feels like he doesn’t go through what I go through.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, he goes to the Bahamas with his friends. He is in his hometown with his family and friends, he doesn’t care that I am not there. He is more upset about the Cup than about leaving me.”

“I don’t think that’s a fair comparison. The Cup is his dream, and you are his love.”

“I’m fine, Jake. I’m leaving in three days. I’m happy for you and Sophie. I can’t believe she didn’t tell me.”

“I told her that I would. Isn’t he coming back at all?” He asked.

“Yeah, he comes back for a Golf Tournament at the end of June. I think I am still in the Hamptons though.”

“You aren’t going to come home for it?” He asked a little confused.

“I don’t know. I think it may just be worse, knowing he’s here but not staying. I don’t know.”

I hadn’t heard from Sidney since he left. But he called later that night. Like after I was already asleep. It didn’t help to know that he didn’t even call me as soon as he got home. I know he loves me, and that’s never a question in my mind. But love can only get you so far.

“Hello.” I whispered.

“Hey, babe.” He said cheery.

“Way to call when you touched down.” I said.

“I’m sorry. It was like crazy when I got back.”

“I’m sure.”

“Don’t be mad at me.”

“I’m not mad at you. I miss you.. I just can’t believe how far away you are right now. Its weird to think about.”

“You know I wish it wasn’t this hard.”

“Yeah, but it is.” I simply said.

“Joey, don’t make it like this.” He whispered into the phone.

“Sidney, its not like I want to be upset.”

“I don’t get why you are mad at me.”

“I’m not mad at you, I’m just mad.”

“Why?”

“Because my heart is like broken.”

“I love you, Jo.”

“It doesn’t make it hurt less. It makes it hurt more. You are so far away from me. What if I forget what it feels like to kiss you or how your arms feel around me? I know its stupid, but its true. Every other time I never loved you this much. You have been gone for a few hours and it is killing me.”

“We have been apart for away trips.”

“Yeah, but I always knew you would be coming back.”

“I am coming back.”

“Not for a long time, though.”

“I wish there was something I could say to make you believe that I love you and that I am hurting as much as you are hurting. I don’t want to be a part either.”

“ I know, I’m sorry.” I whispered.

“So how is Sam?” I asked.

“She was so excited to see me. I took her for a walk with Taylor.”

“I bet they are both really happy you are home.”

“Yeah, its nice to be home, but it sucks at the same time.”

“Yeah..” I didn’t know what else to say.

“Hey, so get this. I am flying to the Hamptons by myself.” I said.

“What?”

“Yeah, I didn’t ever think about it before. But, I am. I mean I guess it makes sense since I’m the only one going, but you know.”

“You hate planes.” He simply said.

“I know, I have panic attacks before I fly with the fam, let alone when I fly by myself.” I said.

“It will be fine though.”

“Guess what else I found out today?” I said feeling more like myself.

“What?”

“Sophie and Jake are like talking.” I said.

“What happened to him and Sarah?” He said.

“I don’t know. I guess she was cheating on him or something. Who cares, I didn’t like her.. but him and Sophie?” I said.

“Do you care?”

“No, its just kind of weird. Whatever though. Atleast she can come to visit then.” I said laughing.

“So what will you do in the Hamptons?”

“My grandparents have this huge house with a pool and a tennis court. I guess I will just do whatever. It will probably be boring.”

“Do you know anyone there?”

“I use to know some of the kids. My mom’s best friend growing up who just happens to be the daughter of my grandma’s best friend, well her son and I use to be friends. His name was Benji. He actually use to be a jerk, but I haven’t seen him in like 3 years. I don’t even know if he still goes. His grandparents’ house is right next door.”

“I’m sure it will be fun, though.”

“Yeah, you will be soaking up the sun in the Bahamas though.”

“I can’t believe we are going to be a part for 3 months.” He said.

“I just try and pretend its not happening. I just keep telling myself you will be back so so soon.”

“Is it working?”

“Obviously not, since I already ate a shitload of ice cream. I broke down once you left. I just sat in the parking lot for like 10 minutes just crying.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Stop saying that. Its not your fault you live in Canada. I just wish Canada wasn’t so far away.” I said.

“Me too.”

“Aren’t you tired?” He asked.

“Yeah, but I would rather talk to you then sleep.”

“No, babe. I will call you first thing in the morning.”

“You will call me sometime tomorrow, but first thing.. I doubt it.”

“Joey..” He said.

“I know, I don’t want to fight when you are so far away.”

“I love you.” He said.

“I love you too. Could you just promise that you won’t fall in love with some Canadian?” I said.

“My heart belongs to this weird girl from the States. I just can’t help it, she never gave me back my heart so I guess all these Canadians will just have to be disappointed.” He said trying not to laugh.

“You are just soo funny.” I said being sarcastic.

“Well what kind of request is that? Like obviously, I won’t fall in love with anyone especially since I already am in love with you.” He said matter of factly.

“Okay.. just making sure.”

“Yeah, well if I can’t fall in love with any Canadians.. could you make sure Connor knows that you won’t be falling inlove with him?” He said.

“Oh that was a funny one!” I said.

“You know he wants you.”

“If only he was Canadian, he might have a shot. There is just something about that accent, ay.” I said laughing.

“I know you think its hot.” He said.

“Oh definitely.”

“Night, Jo.” He finally said.

“I don’t want to hang up yet.” I said.

“Okay.”

“Can we just lay on the phone together for awhile?” I asked.

“Anything you want.” He said. After awhile, I finally broke the silence.

“I love you, Sidney.”

“I love you more than anything. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Don’t worry, everything will be fine.”

“Night.” I said sighing.