Chapter Fifty-Seven

“So what do you think he will do if they lose tonight?” Jake asked me before Game 6.

“He will be devastated. I won’t know what to do, because it’s not like I can possibly understand what he is going through. Let’s just hope they don’t lose tonight, not in front of their fans.” I simply said.

“Jo, you can’t just act like it’s not going to happen.”

“It may not happen. Okay, you don’t understand how hard this is. He is going to leave regardless in like 4 days. Yeah, maybe I just don’t want to think about it.”

When the buzzer sounded, my heart sank into my stomach. Sidney just stood there in disbelief. He just watched Detroit celebrate, not being able to even escape it. I saw it in his face, how exhausted he was. I saw how upset he was and heartbroken. My heart sank into my stomach; imagine what his heart was doing. I have no words to comfort him, because I can’t make this dream come true for him. I have no words to comfort the fact that some of his friends and teammates won’t be in that locker room with him next year.

“I don’t want to see him.” I whispered to Jacob still sitting in our seats.

“You have to see him, Joey. He needs you.”

“He doesn’t need me, not for this. What am I going to say to him? How can I help him through this?” I said.

“You can be with him and that’s all you need. You know he is going to try and put on this brave front, but with you he can break down.”

“I’m not strong enough to watch him hurt like this.”

“You have to be, because he needs you.” He said. I knew he was right. I knew I would have to walk to the locker room for the last time this season and wait for him. Wait for my boyfriend who just came so close to achieving something he has only dreamt about. I got to wait for my boyfriend who would be devastated. I waited for Sidney for the last time. Not really knowing what to do or say.

“He is going to need you.” Trina told me.

“I just don’t know what I can do.” I whispered.

“You will figure it out.” She said.

“Where is Mr. Crosby?” I asked.

“He is in there now with him.” She said.

“Are you sure I should stay?” I asked.

“I’m sure that he needs you. I know my son.” She said.

I waited out there for over an hour. I waited for most of the guys to leave with their families.

“Hey, Jo. You should go in there.” Brooks said and then we hugged and he left with his girlfriend.

“We are going to go, just tell him we will talk to him tomorrow.” Trina said.

“Okay.” I said and I took a deep breath and prepared for the worst. I walked into the locker room to see him just sitting in his locker. His facial hair was already gone, but he just looked so defeated. I walked over and just sat beside him and put my arm on this back. We just sat there for a few minutes. Then we didn’t say anything but we walked out to his car. The car ride was silent as well. When we pulled into the Lemieuxs driveway, he broke down. He just sat there and let everything out. I didn’t know what to do. I just put my arm around him and let him get it out. After a few minutes I got out of the car, but he didn’t follow. I went to his side and opened the door. He stepped out and we just hugged and he broke down some more.

“Baby, you did everything you could do.” I whispered.

“Yeah, and it still wasn’t enough.” He simply said and he walked into the house.

“You know that to fully know how to succeed, you have to fail first.” I said and he just looked at me.

“I don’t know, my dad told me that when I failed my first Chem test.” I said.

“It’s fine. It’s just more motivation.” He said and started to change.

“I’m proud of you.” I said.

“Proud of what? Being second best?” He said.

“You aren’t second best.”

“Joey, we didn’t win.”

“You didn’t win, but look at everything you got through this year. You got hurt and you came back. You guys made it to the Finals and you are only 20 years old. Some guys never make it to the Finals, you just have to have faith that this won’t be your only shot.” I said walking over to him.

“Thanks, Jo.” He said.

“Hey, Jake.” Sidney said walking into my house the next day.

“Hey.”

“Is that..” Sidney started to ask.

“Yeah.. “ Jake answered.

“I was going to ask if she was here, but she obviously is.. with that playing.” He said and walked upstairs.

“Hey” He said sitting on my bed. When I saw him I turned off the music.

“What’s wrong?” He asked me.

“Nothing.”

“Jo.. you are laying on your bed eating ice cream and listening to Third Eye Blind, something is wrong.”

“I should be asking you that question.”

“I’m fine. We have our last meeting tomorrow.” He said. “But seriously, why are you sad?”

“I’m not.”

“Ice Cream and Third Eye Blind means you are sad.”

“I eat Ice Cream and listen to them other times.”

“Yeah, but when you are sad, that’s what you do.. so really what’s the chances you are just doing them both without being sad?” He said taking a bite of my ice cream.

“Your leaving in two days.. I’m just preparing myself.” I whispered taking back my spoon.

“Preparing yourself for what?”

“For what I know is going to happen.”

“Nothing is going to happen.”

“Sidney, that’s not true. We never make it when you go back to Canada.”

“We will.”

“Canada is far away, Sidney. Its like another life there. Its not like you are just going to Ottawa or Toronto, you are going above Maine.. dude that’s far away!” I said.

“Its far away, but that doesn’t change anything.”

“It does though. I don’t want it too but it does.”

“Baby, I love you and it doesn’t matter how many miles are between us.. that won’t change.”

“I know.. its just scary.”

“Yeah, but it will be fine. You are going to Florida and then the Hamptons and I’ll be in the Bahamas some.” He explained.

“We aren’t going to Florida anymore.” I said.

“Why?”

“Jadyn and Jocelyn are going back to the summer camp in Arizona. So I think I’m just going to the Hamptons longer.” I explained.

“Don’t be sad.. its three months. Three months is like nothing.”

“Its just we just like got back together. I don’t know. Its fine. How are you feeling?” I asked.

“It still hurts, obviously. I just can’t believe we were so close. I mean it was in my grasp and I let it slip away.”

“Just have to believe, Sid.” I whispered in his eye.

“I know. I’m going to dinner tonight with the family, please come.” He said.

“You should just be with them.” I said.

“No, I will be with them all summer, I won’t be with you all summer. I want you there.” He said.

“Okay, but could we just lay here and listen.”

“You know how much I love Third Eye Blind.” He said laughing.

“You just haven’t given them a chance. They are my favorite band..”

“Why do you listen to them when you are sad?”

“It makes me feel better.. because I remember so many things when I hear one of their songs.”

“Like what?”

“Like when I hear Motorcycle Drive By, I think of me and Jake driving to DC to watch you play your second year. And when I hear Semi-Charmed Life it was playing when I got into my car after we got together the one time.” I said.

“I love you and I will listen to anything with you.” He said eating more of my ice cream.

“Could you not steal my ice cream?”

“Hey! I’m not in season anymore; I can eat ice cream again!” He said stealing it back.

“Fine, just today I will share.” I said smiling.

“I don’t want you to be sad.”

“I don’t want you to be sad.” I said.

“But I am the reason for your sadness; you aren’t the reason for mine.”

“It doesn’t really change the fact that we are both sad.”

“True.” He said.

“You should just realize I am right all the time.” I said smiling.

“Oh yeah, I forgot.” He said.

“You know what would make me happier?” He asked.

“What?”

“This.” He said sitting the ice cream on the night stand and pulling me on top of him.