Chapter Ninety-One.

Thanksgiving break came and went. It was really nice just to be lounging around the family house with everyone there. It was kind of crazy, but I wouldn’t expect anything less with my family. Sidney wasn’t around much that week because he had a few away games.

Its not December and we have finals next week. If that’s not stressful enough, the Penguins have fell on tough times. They just are playing that well. Its frustrating for all involved, but lately Sidney has been in rare form. I was hoping after they played Philly, it would be better. I figured Philly is a huge rival, they would definitely get up for it. I was sure they were going to win. They needed to win. Unfortunately, they ended up losing pretty bad on home ice. The score was like 6 to 3. I was bracing myself for what was to come after Sidney left the lockerroom.

“Let’s go.” Was all he said when he emerged from the lockerroom.

“Fine.” I simply said following him.

We got food afterwards but the conversation was nothing spectacular. Actually, I don’t even think we had a real conversation the whole time. I was getting irritated. Its not my fault they are losing. Its not my fault they are playing like shit. What did he want me to do? I was trying to be the supportive girlfriend, but I can’t do it if I’m going to be getting blamed for things I am not responsible for.

“Could you be a little happier.” I finally said when we got into his room.

“Happier? We just lost to the Flyers by 3! We lose all the time, and you want me to be happy?”

“Its not my fault you are losing.”

“and its mine?” He asked.

“I’m not saying that. I’m simply saying I’m not on the ice. Don’t bring it home.” I said.

“Its hard not too.I thought my girlfriend would care.”

“I do care.”

“It doesn’t seem like it.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say. You are amazing, well you haven’t been.”

“Thanks.”

“Well Sidney, I’m sorry but if you are losing you can’t be doing nothing wrong. I’m not saying its you, I’m saying the whole team could do better.”

“don’t talk about things you don’t know about.”

“that’s right, I know nothing.” I said and he just ignored me.

“I don’t even know why I am here right now. I should be studying not listening to you complain. You know what Sidney, you want to win, figure it out. Inspire your teammates. Play harder, don’t let anyone have more desire than you. Complaining does shit.” I said.

“Just want it more? That’s your solution?”

“I don’t know, Sidney. But I don’t want to hear you go through every play over and over again.” I said.

“then don’t.”

“I’m not going too. I’m going to the library.” I said.

“I’m sorry.” He said about four hours later. He brought me a mocha to the library.

“I really have to study.” I said.

“Call me when you are done.” He said.

“thanks for the coffee.” I said.

“Love you.”

“Yeah.” Was all I said.

I didn’t know what I thought about everything. I knew I said somethings I shouldn’t have said. I don’t know what goes on in the locker room. I know Sidney is trying his best. I know its killing him to see them struggle. But, I don’t deserve to have it taken out on me. I just didn’t want to deal with it right now.

“hey.” I said about 3 hours after he left the library. I went to Mario’s to see him.

“I’m sorry.”

“I don’t know, Sidney.”

“What don’t you know.”

“I know that I shouldn’t have told you what I thought.”

“No, I want you too.”

“no, you don’t. You were mad at what I said.”

“I know and I’m sorry.”

“you need to not bring hockey stuff home with you. You need to learn to leave it on the ice.”

“That’s so much easier said than done.” He said.

“Well, I don’t know what to say then. I don’t want to have a fight everytime you lose because it seems like losing happens a lot these days.”

“I just don’t know how to make us win.”

“Its not all on your shoulders, babe.”

“I’m the captain.”

“you are also 21.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Yes, it does. Don’t take everything upon yourself.”

“I know, I have to learn not too.”

“yeah, you do.”

“I just don’t want to fight with you. I need you.” He said.

“then don’t fight with me.”

“You think everything is just so simple.”

“It is, babe. I’m sorry for saying that stuff too.”

“I don’t like fighting.”

“Me either.”

“I really need to get back to the dorm. I have a final in a day.” I said.

“Okay, I love you.”

“I love you too, Sidney.”