Chapter Ninety

“That girl was something else.” I said to Max over coffee the next morning. Sidney had meetings after practice, so I met with Max.

“Yeah, sorry for putting you through that.” He said.

“You so aren’t sorry. It was entertaining for you.” I said laughing a little.

“It was hard to be a part of I am sure.”

“I just don’t get why you go for girls like that.”

“Girls like what?”

“Girls that aren’t good enough for you. Why don’t you pick a nice girl that has a career path and knows what she wants. Pick a girl that Mama Talbot would like.” I said.

“I’m never going to have what you and Sidney have.” He said.

“That’s not true.” I said.

“It is. What you and Sidney have is something that you read about. Its something in a movie.”

“No, I sometimes want to be in a movie. Sidney and I are just two people trying to get by in life. We make mistakes and we make a lot of them. Its just you push through and you figure it out because if you love someone enough, everything is worth it.” I said.

“I don’t think you understand how amazing of a relationship you have.”

“Max, you could have one too. Just want one and get one.”

“I don’t know.”

“I do know. You are a great guy and so many girls would love to be with you.” I said.

“Not true.”

“Very true. You just settle. It can’t be fun being with a different girl every night.” I said and he just gave me a look.

“Okay, maybe it is fun for you, but so is being in love.” I said.

“I know you just want me to be a happy, Jo. And I totally appreciate it but..”

“But you aren’t sure you want it yet.”

“Yeah, I don’t know. I just don’t want to find a girl that I really like and then cheat on her.”

“You can’t just be like I don’t want to find a girl right now. What if you meet your soul mate tomorrow, you are just going to be like now is not a good time because I like to sleep around on the road?” I said looking at him.

“Max, you don’t know who your soul mate is going to be. You don’t know when you are going to meet the love of your life. You just have to have an open mind.” I said.

“Jo, I love you, don’t get me wrong. Its just I’m 25.”

“You are 25, and I know you are young. But, when you find the person you want to spend forever with, you want forever to start right now.”

“And that’s how you feel about Sidney?”

“Absolutely.”

“But just the other day you talked about not knowing about forever.”

“I want to spend forever with Sidney. I love him with my whole heart. He is literally my best friend, soul mate, and love of my life. I can’t tell you how great it is for all three of those people to be the same person.”

“But you still have doubts?”

“Of course I have doubts. I would be crazy if I didn’t. I am 19 and I already know who I want to spend forever with? It sounds crazy. I have doubts.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t doubt that I love Sidney. I don’t doubt his love for me. I just doubt that we are ready. I doubt that our love is strong enough to get through everything. He is arguably the most famous hockey player in the league, and I’m just a girl from a small suburb. I doubt that I will be enough. Its scary, Max. I’m not going to lie telling Sidney I loved him for the first time was the scariest thing I have ever done. Breaking up was the worst thing that ever happened to me and I didn’t think I would survive, but I did. Love is scary, but it’s the best thing in the world at the same time.” I said.

“Your doubts are insane. You will always be enough for Sidney. You don’t see the way he looks at you. You don’t hear the way he talks about you. I wish I had that.”

“You could, Max. You are choosing not too. People think that couples don’t fight. That love will conquer all. Love doesn’t conquer all. Love sometimes isn’t enough. You have to work everyday. You have to compromise.” I said.

“You are a very wise 19 year old. If I would have met someone like you when I was 19, maybe things would be different.”

“You know what Connor told me once when I was crying over a boy in high school?” I asked him.

“What?”

“That I was a girl you marry, and the other girl the boy I liked was dating was a girl you date.”

“That seems right.”

“You need to find a girl that you marry. I know you like having fun, but when are you going to be ready to fall in love?”

“I don’t know, Jo.” He said and then Sidney called.

“Hey, baby.” I said answering the phone.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m at the coffee shop with Max.” I said.

“Do you want to watch a movie or something?” He asked.

“Yeah, I’ll come to Marios after coffee.” I said.

“Okay, love you.”

“Love you too.” I said and hung up the phone.

“Sidney?” Max asked.

“No, its my secret boyfriend.” I said.

“Shut up!” He said.

“Sidney is done. I said I would meet him.” I said.

“Okay, lets go then.” Max said.

“Max you know you can hang out with me and Sidney anytime.” I said.

“I know, but you two should have alone time too.” He said.

“We love you. Anytime you want to hang out or just talk, you know where to find me.” I told him.

“Thanks, Jo.” He said and then we parted ways.