chapter ninety-three

I knew that Sidney wasn’t trying to be difficult. I knew that Sidney loved me, that was obvious. I would never doubt how much he loved me. I just doubted if we should be together. I doubted if he could ever have a serious relationship while his team was suffering. Don’t get me wrong, I hate watching Sidney suffer, but I can’t handle these fights every time the team goes through a rough stretch. I don’t know what to do. I can’t help him because I’m not playing beside him. He really can’t do much either, even though he thinks he can. He is only one person on the team. It breaks my heart to see him go through every little play. It breaks my heart to know that I can’t help him figure it out. But ultimately the only thing that really breaks my heart is thinking we might not get through this.

“You know you and Sidney will be fine.” Max said on the phone right before he was suppose to leave to go back to Canada.

“Max, I don’t know what I am suppose to do.”

“Just be there for him.”

“I am, Max. I am there all the time, but I don’t want crabby Sidney. We don’t get to spend that much time together as it is and when we do is just an ass.”

“you know Sidney.” Was all Max said.

“I do know Sidney. That’s why I am worried.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean if hockey isn’t going right, nothing is going to go right. Hockey is his first priority. If something is wrong with hockey, he will focus all his energy on that.. leaving me behind.”

“He is not going to leave you behind.”

“I don’t know, Max. We didn’t even talk about Christmas. It was just decided he would go home and I would stay here. Last year, we spent Christmas together and we were only speaking for a month before that.”

“He just has a lot on his mind.”

“I know, and I’m last on his mind.”

“Joey..”

“I’m not saying I have to be first on his mind. I just want to enter it.”

“You do. Are you kidding me?! He loves you more than anyone I have ever seen.”

“Not more than hockey.”

“Since when did it have to be one or the other?”

“It doesn’t.. I don’t know.”

“It will be fine.” He said.

“Yeah, you two keep saying that.”

“Just be happy. I’ll talk to you later.”Max said.

“Yeah, have a good flight.” I said.

“Who was that?” Jake asked.

“Max.”

“Since when did you two become so close?” He asked me.

“I don’t know? He has just been hanging around. Its nice to have someone to talk too.”

“You have me.”

“You have Sophie.” I said.

“Shut up.”

“I’m not being mean. I’m being serious.”

“You can still talk to me.”

“Yeah.. but I choose to talk to Max.”

“What does Sidney have to say about that?”

“Nothing? He is friends with Max, obviously.”

“He doesn’t care that some other guy takes you to lunch and dinner and calls you?”

“No, because we are friends?” I said and he just gave me a look.

“Don’t you have somewhere else to be?” I asked and he left.

Later that night, I heard a knock on my door. I opened the door to an unexpected face. Connor.

“What are you doing here?” I asked completely surprised to see him standing outside of my bedroom door.

“Apparently, you need to talk to someone.” He said and then walked into my room.

“Who said that?”

“Jake.”

“Jake needs to learn to keep his mouth shut.”

“Just talk to me.” Connor said sitting on my bed.

“There is nothing to say.”

“I can tell that there is.”

“Connor, you can’t just come in here and think that I am going to spill my heart. You have been nonexistent in my life for months.”

“It doesn’t matter now.”

“It kind of does.”

“No, seriously. Jo, I am here. Just tell me what is wrong.”

“Nothing is wrong. Seriously. Jake just thinks every little thing is something wrong.”

“Sidney?”

“Its nothing.”

“Just tell me what it is already.” Connor said.

“Sidney is just upset about hockey.”

“And?”

“And nothing..”

“Jake called me over here because Sidney is upset about hockey?”

“I’m sorry, if you didn’t want to be here, I’m pretty sure you know where the door is located.”

“That’s not what I meant. I obviously want to be here.”

“Sidney is stressed about hockey. It kind of is messing up somethings, but everything will be fine.”

“Jake said something about Max?”

“Jake is stupid. Max and I are friends.”

“Max Talbot?”

“Yeah.”

“I didn’t know you guys were friends.”

“A lot of things happen when you stop talking to your best friend for like 4 months.”

“I’m sorry, Jo. What do you want me to say?”

“an explanation would be nice. Oh right, you don’t have one.”

“I don’t have a good one. All I can say is that I am sorry.”

“Okay.” I simply said and then Sidney called.

“Hey, thanks Connor, but I am going to talk to Sidney. I’ll talk to you later.” I said and Connor left and I answered the phone.

“Hey, babe.” I said.

“Hey, Jo.”

“How’s the family?”

“they are really good.”

“That’s good. I’m really happy.”

“Jo, I’m really sorry about before.”

“I know.”

“I shouldn’t do that.”

“I know.”

“Baby, I love you.”

“And, I love you.” I said.

Chapter Ninety-Two

“Seriously, Sidney. I’m sick of this.” I said throwing a shirt at him. I was putting laundry away in my room. No one else was at my house so I didn’t feel bad raising my voice.

“What are you talking about?”

“This.” I said pointing at him.

“You are just blah. You aren’t happy ever. I can deal with being sad over a loss, but seriously its annoying now.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to annoy you.”

“Shut up! You know what I mean.”

“No, I really don’t.”

“I love you, Sidney. I do. But you are just a grump all the time. You mope around like that’s going to make the team better.”

“Maybe that’s the problem, Jo. I don’t know what is going to make the team better.”

“Then talk to me. Talk to me about whats wrong. Talk to me about the team. Talk to me, just don’t sit there acting like you want to be anywhere but here.” I said.

“Its just hard.”

“I know, babe. If I could help, I would.”

“Its like I don’t get why we aren’t playing well. Its not even like we are losing but playing well, we are losing and playing like shit. When we win, we aren’t even playing well. I don’t know what happened from a month ago to now.” He said.

“You will figure it out. I know it.”

“That’s the problem. Its on me. Everyone says its my fault. And yeah, maybe it is.”

“Its not your fault.”

“I’m the captain. I should be doing something.”

“You are doing something.”

“No, I’m not. I don’t know what to do. Its frustrating and I don’t know what to do. I’m sick of everyone talking about us losing. I’m sick of everything.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m not sick of you.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“I’m positive, Jo.”

“I love you more than anything.” He said.

“But yet you don’t act like it when we are together.”

“Its cause of stupid hockey. I can’t focus on anything right now.”

“I’m not blaming you, babe. Its just..”

“Its just I know. Its annoying.”

“Its not annoying. I just hate having these stupid fights every week.”

“It will be fine. I leave for Christmas in like two days.”

“Yeah, I don’t think I would describe spending Christmas apart, fine.”

“I didn’t mean that would be fine. I meant that we will be fine. We will figure it out. After I just get to see my family, it will be fine.”

“I wish you felt that way when you see me.” I said and he just looked at me like I put a knife through his heart.

“Joey, I love you.” He said putting his hand on my leg.

“I know, Sidney. And I know its hard right now.”

“I just need to figure everything out.”

“And I want to help.”

“It will all work out. I’m positive when we come back from Christmas everything will be okay.” He said.

“I want to believe you.”

“Then believe me.” He said.

Chapter Ninety-One.

Thanksgiving break came and went. It was really nice just to be lounging around the family house with everyone there. It was kind of crazy, but I wouldn’t expect anything less with my family. Sidney wasn’t around much that week because he had a few away games.

Its not December and we have finals next week. If that’s not stressful enough, the Penguins have fell on tough times. They just are playing that well. Its frustrating for all involved, but lately Sidney has been in rare form. I was hoping after they played Philly, it would be better. I figured Philly is a huge rival, they would definitely get up for it. I was sure they were going to win. They needed to win. Unfortunately, they ended up losing pretty bad on home ice. The score was like 6 to 3. I was bracing myself for what was to come after Sidney left the lockerroom.

“Let’s go.” Was all he said when he emerged from the lockerroom.

“Fine.” I simply said following him.

We got food afterwards but the conversation was nothing spectacular. Actually, I don’t even think we had a real conversation the whole time. I was getting irritated. Its not my fault they are losing. Its not my fault they are playing like shit. What did he want me to do? I was trying to be the supportive girlfriend, but I can’t do it if I’m going to be getting blamed for things I am not responsible for.

“Could you be a little happier.” I finally said when we got into his room.

“Happier? We just lost to the Flyers by 3! We lose all the time, and you want me to be happy?”

“Its not my fault you are losing.”

“and its mine?” He asked.

“I’m not saying that. I’m simply saying I’m not on the ice. Don’t bring it home.” I said.

“Its hard not too.I thought my girlfriend would care.”

“I do care.”

“It doesn’t seem like it.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say. You are amazing, well you haven’t been.”

“Thanks.”

“Well Sidney, I’m sorry but if you are losing you can’t be doing nothing wrong. I’m not saying its you, I’m saying the whole team could do better.”

“don’t talk about things you don’t know about.”

“that’s right, I know nothing.” I said and he just ignored me.

“I don’t even know why I am here right now. I should be studying not listening to you complain. You know what Sidney, you want to win, figure it out. Inspire your teammates. Play harder, don’t let anyone have more desire than you. Complaining does shit.” I said.

“Just want it more? That’s your solution?”

“I don’t know, Sidney. But I don’t want to hear you go through every play over and over again.” I said.

“then don’t.”

“I’m not going too. I’m going to the library.” I said.

“I’m sorry.” He said about four hours later. He brought me a mocha to the library.

“I really have to study.” I said.

“Call me when you are done.” He said.

“thanks for the coffee.” I said.

“Love you.”

“Yeah.” Was all I said.

I didn’t know what I thought about everything. I knew I said somethings I shouldn’t have said. I don’t know what goes on in the locker room. I know Sidney is trying his best. I know its killing him to see them struggle. But, I don’t deserve to have it taken out on me. I just didn’t want to deal with it right now.

“hey.” I said about 3 hours after he left the library. I went to Mario’s to see him.

“I’m sorry.”

“I don’t know, Sidney.”

“What don’t you know.”

“I know that I shouldn’t have told you what I thought.”

“No, I want you too.”

“no, you don’t. You were mad at what I said.”

“I know and I’m sorry.”

“you need to not bring hockey stuff home with you. You need to learn to leave it on the ice.”

“That’s so much easier said than done.” He said.

“Well, I don’t know what to say then. I don’t want to have a fight everytime you lose because it seems like losing happens a lot these days.”

“I just don’t know how to make us win.”

“Its not all on your shoulders, babe.”

“I’m the captain.”

“you are also 21.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Yes, it does. Don’t take everything upon yourself.”

“I know, I have to learn not too.”

“yeah, you do.”

“I just don’t want to fight with you. I need you.” He said.

“then don’t fight with me.”

“You think everything is just so simple.”

“It is, babe. I’m sorry for saying that stuff too.”

“I don’t like fighting.”

“Me either.”

“I really need to get back to the dorm. I have a final in a day.” I said.

“Okay, I love you.”

“I love you too, Sidney.”

Chapter Ninety

“That girl was something else.” I said to Max over coffee the next morning. Sidney had meetings after practice, so I met with Max.

“Yeah, sorry for putting you through that.” He said.

“You so aren’t sorry. It was entertaining for you.” I said laughing a little.

“It was hard to be a part of I am sure.”

“I just don’t get why you go for girls like that.”

“Girls like what?”

“Girls that aren’t good enough for you. Why don’t you pick a nice girl that has a career path and knows what she wants. Pick a girl that Mama Talbot would like.” I said.

“I’m never going to have what you and Sidney have.” He said.

“That’s not true.” I said.

“It is. What you and Sidney have is something that you read about. Its something in a movie.”

“No, I sometimes want to be in a movie. Sidney and I are just two people trying to get by in life. We make mistakes and we make a lot of them. Its just you push through and you figure it out because if you love someone enough, everything is worth it.” I said.

“I don’t think you understand how amazing of a relationship you have.”

“Max, you could have one too. Just want one and get one.”

“I don’t know.”

“I do know. You are a great guy and so many girls would love to be with you.” I said.

“Not true.”

“Very true. You just settle. It can’t be fun being with a different girl every night.” I said and he just gave me a look.

“Okay, maybe it is fun for you, but so is being in love.” I said.

“I know you just want me to be a happy, Jo. And I totally appreciate it but..”

“But you aren’t sure you want it yet.”

“Yeah, I don’t know. I just don’t want to find a girl that I really like and then cheat on her.”

“You can’t just be like I don’t want to find a girl right now. What if you meet your soul mate tomorrow, you are just going to be like now is not a good time because I like to sleep around on the road?” I said looking at him.

“Max, you don’t know who your soul mate is going to be. You don’t know when you are going to meet the love of your life. You just have to have an open mind.” I said.

“Jo, I love you, don’t get me wrong. Its just I’m 25.”

“You are 25, and I know you are young. But, when you find the person you want to spend forever with, you want forever to start right now.”

“And that’s how you feel about Sidney?”

“Absolutely.”

“But just the other day you talked about not knowing about forever.”

“I want to spend forever with Sidney. I love him with my whole heart. He is literally my best friend, soul mate, and love of my life. I can’t tell you how great it is for all three of those people to be the same person.”

“But you still have doubts?”

“Of course I have doubts. I would be crazy if I didn’t. I am 19 and I already know who I want to spend forever with? It sounds crazy. I have doubts.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t doubt that I love Sidney. I don’t doubt his love for me. I just doubt that we are ready. I doubt that our love is strong enough to get through everything. He is arguably the most famous hockey player in the league, and I’m just a girl from a small suburb. I doubt that I will be enough. Its scary, Max. I’m not going to lie telling Sidney I loved him for the first time was the scariest thing I have ever done. Breaking up was the worst thing that ever happened to me and I didn’t think I would survive, but I did. Love is scary, but it’s the best thing in the world at the same time.” I said.

“Your doubts are insane. You will always be enough for Sidney. You don’t see the way he looks at you. You don’t hear the way he talks about you. I wish I had that.”

“You could, Max. You are choosing not too. People think that couples don’t fight. That love will conquer all. Love doesn’t conquer all. Love sometimes isn’t enough. You have to work everyday. You have to compromise.” I said.

“You are a very wise 19 year old. If I would have met someone like you when I was 19, maybe things would be different.”

“You know what Connor told me once when I was crying over a boy in high school?” I asked him.

“What?”

“That I was a girl you marry, and the other girl the boy I liked was dating was a girl you date.”

“That seems right.”

“You need to find a girl that you marry. I know you like having fun, but when are you going to be ready to fall in love?”

“I don’t know, Jo.” He said and then Sidney called.

“Hey, baby.” I said answering the phone.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m at the coffee shop with Max.” I said.

“Do you want to watch a movie or something?” He asked.

“Yeah, I’ll come to Marios after coffee.” I said.

“Okay, love you.”

“Love you too.” I said and hung up the phone.

“Sidney?” Max asked.

“No, its my secret boyfriend.” I said.

“Shut up!” He said.

“Sidney is done. I said I would meet him.” I said.

“Okay, lets go then.” Max said.

“Max you know you can hang out with me and Sidney anytime.” I said.

“I know, but you two should have alone time too.” He said.

“We love you. Anytime you want to hang out or just talk, you know where to find me.” I told him.

“Thanks, Jo.” He said and then we parted ways.

Chapter Eighty-Nine

So when we walked into the restaurant, Max and the girl were already seated. She was a blonde, with a tan. I’m going to go out on a limb and say it was a fake tan since it’s the middle of November. She had really long hair, her nails were done, and she apparently likes makeup. I guess its just completely different sitting there with someone like that because most of my friends are athletes. Its not uncommon for me to go out in public with no makeup on. Even when I do wear makeup, its not very heavy and its usually just eyeliner and mascara. I guess I’m lucky that when I first met Sidney, I had no makeup on so he knew what he was getting himself into. I sat down trying to keep an open mind. Trying really hard because it wasn’t really working.

“Hey, guys.” Max said when we walked to the table. We sat down. I guess the one good thing about this girl was that Max already told her Sidney would be joining us. She kept looking at him but atleast she wasn’t like touching him or anything, yet.

“Hey, Max.” I said smiling.

“This is Marcy.” Max said.

“Hi, I’m Joey.” I said to her.

“So you two are dating?” She asked.

“Me and Sidney?” I asked confused on what she was talking about.

“Yeah, we have been together for three years.” Sidney chimed in saying.

“Oh wow, I didn’t even know you had a girlfriend.” She said.

“How would you know?” I asked really confused at this girl.

“I didn’t mean anything by it.” She said.

“So what do you do?” I asked.

“What do you mean?” She asked.

“Like do you go to school, or do you have a job or something?” I asked.

“Oh.. I’m a bartender.” She simply said.

“Ohh that’s nice.” Sidney said. I just looked at him.

“So what are you doing for Thanksgiving?” Max asked me.

“The family comes in from the Hamptons.” I started to say.

“So you are rich?” She asked me. I couldn’t believe she just asked that.

“No. Anyways, my grandparents are coming in from the Hamptons and my grandpa just moved to Florida and he is coming back. Plus, I think some of my aunts and uncles are coming in.” I explained.

“That sounds nice.” Max said.

“Should be interesting. Kind of sucks you guys are away or you could have come with Sidney.” I said.

The rest of the dinner conversation was interesting to say the least. I tried to be nice, but at some points it just felt like Max and I were having a conversation together. I didn’t blame Sidney, it didn’t want to say too much because who knows what this girl would tell people. I feel bad for Max, to be honest. Max gets a bad rep. He does love to party and he does love women, but he is a great guy deep down. He is a great friend to have and I just wish he could have someone to love. I know he might not be ready for it, but I hate seeing him with girls that like him just because he is Max Talbot.

“That was a joke.” I said when we got into the car.

“Tell me about it.” He said.

“I’m never going back on a double date with Max ever again.” I said laughing.

“How about her asking you if you were rich!”

“Or asked if we are together? Why would we be going to dinner together if we weren’t dating?”

“Then her saying oh she didn’t know I had a girlfriend.” He said.

“I feel bad for Max.”

“Don’t feel too bad for him. He just wants a girl for his bed, and trust me that girl fits the part.”

“then why did he take her to dinner?”

“Because maybe deep down he wishes it was more.” He said.

“I don’t know. It would be hard to know what girls are in it for the money and fame.” I said.

“Yeah, that’s why I’m so happy to have you. You liked me before I even scored a goal.” He said.

“Do you think this is as good as it gets?” I asked.

“I’d be okay with that.” He said looking at me when we pulled to a stop light.

“Me too, babe.” I said. Then we kissed and headed to Mario’s to spend the rest of the night together.

Chapter Eighty-Eight

“Dinner with me, Max, and some girl?” He asked me one night on the phone.

“Some girl?”

“Yeah, I don’t know. Max wants to bring a girl.”

“Okay, that’s fine.”

“Just me and you will hang out after. Anything you want.”

“I don’t mind hanging out with Max.” I said.

“I know. Its just.. sometimes its nice when me and you are alone.” He said.

“Yeah, its always better when its just me and you.” I said smiling.

“I’ll come get you and we can hang out after practice before dinner.” He said.

“Yeah, I’d like that.” I said.

“So whats this girl going to be like?” I asked Sidney while we were laying on a couch in Mario’s house.

“Umm.. well knowing Max and the girls he likes to date. I will be surprised if we can hold an intellectual conversation with her.” He said in all seriousness.

“Well we are talking about Max, I don’t think many intellectual conversations take place.” I said.

“no, but seriously. Max always goes for the wrong type of girl. Max is a good guy.”

“Max is a good guy but I don’t think Max really wants a relationship.” I said.

“He doesn’t, but if he found the right girl.”He said.

“I don’t know. So what do you really think the girl is going to be like?”

“His last girlfriend was nice.”

“Nice.”

“Well, she could keep up with him. She would go out with him and whatnot. She was nice, but not really the kind of girl you marry or bring home to your mother.” He said.

“So what your saying is I could potentially be sitting at dinner in a nice restaurant with a Pittsburgh slut?” I asked.

“First of all, we won’t be at a nice restaurant. It will be nice but not our kind of nice. Second of all, I don’t think you should classify her as a slut before you even meet her. I do think its safe to say she isn’t going to be your best friend.”

“Oh well, in that case.” I said laughing.

“Max will owe us for doing this for him.” He said.

“Why us? Why did he pick us?” I asked.

“Who knows.”

“Isn’t Marc is best friend?” I asked.

“Yes. But, Marc is with Vero all the time.”

“Max doesn’t like Vero?”

“No, he does. I think he just feels out of place with them.”

“And he doesn’t with us at all, which is kind of weird.”

“We are just such awesome people.” He said.

“well I’m awesome, I’m not sure about you.”

“After three years, you still aren’t sure about me?” He asked me and started tickling me.

“Okay! Okay! Fine! You are AMAZING!” I said giving into the tickling.

“After three years I figured out how to get you to see things my way.” He said.

“What? With holding sex?” I asked.

“Oh, I wish that worked! Tickling, smart ass!” He said.

“I love you.” I said when our faces were inches apart.

“I love you too.” He said then kissed me.

“I just wish Max could find what we have.” Sidney said in the car on the way to the restaurant.

“Me too. But like you said maybe he doesn’t want to find it.” I said.

“How could he not?”

“I don’t know. He is only like 25.”

“Yeah, and I’m 21.”

“You aren’t Max.” I said.

“I know. It just seems weird because it feels so good.” He said.

“I know. But Max is Max. Lets just make it through this dinner. Then, we will figure out a nice girl for him.”

“That would be nice.”

“I know, I’m a little worried to match him with a nice girl because what if he corrupts her.” I said.

“Lets not think about Max and his ways.” He said laughing a little.

“Kind of hard when we are getting pulled into them!” I said.

“We love Max. Who knows why, we just do. He is a good guy.” He said.

“I know, I know. I’m just hoping I can remember that when I’m sitting across from him and his playmate.” I said.

“Playmate.. that’s a good one.” He said laughing.

“We are so bad!” I said.

“We are in rare form tonight.”

“Great behavior for dinner with a stranger.”

“Maybe that means we won’t have to double with Max anymore.” He said trying to look on the positive time.

“I wouldn’t get your hopes up.” I said.

“You are such a good sport for doing this.”

“you say this now, who knows how my behavior is going to be like when I meet her.” I said laughing.

“When in doubt, just drink your water.” He said.

Then we pulled in to the parking lot. We stepped out and walked hand in hand to the restaurant.

“Bring on the circus.” He said.

“Oh good attitude, babe!” I said looking at him.

End of Summer.

So tomorrow, I move back to school. I am definitely going to continue to write. However, my goal is to update once a week. Maybe I will do more, maybe less, but I am going to try to do it once a week. I hope everyone can stick to reading it. My semester is pretty crazy but I love writing. so just stick with me, read and comment. thanks for being such loyal readers : )

Chapter Eighty-Seven

“Hey.” Sidney came into my bedroom at home.

“Hey?” I said. I wasn’t sure what he was doing here. I hadn’t talked to him since I went to lunch with Max. I wasn’t even sure how he knew I was at my house and not at my dorm room.

“Sorry I wasn’t able to pick you up.”He said sitting down on my bed.

“Its fine.” I said not really thinking much of it.

“Jo, I really am sorry.” He said again.

“I know.”

“Max said you were mad.”

“Max probably should keep his mouth shut.” I said.

“Well, maybe you should talk to me instead of him.”

“Sidney, its not like I was sitting there for hours talking about you. I simply was telling one of my friends what I was feeling.”

“Yeah, well he is my friend too.”

“Yeah, which apparently is a problem since he can’t be neutral.” I said.

“So I’m sorry that I wasn’t there.” He said again.

“Its fine. It wouldn’t have been a big deal if you would have just told me. You knew you had the commercial. You knew there was a possibility that you may not be able to pick me up. Why not just tell me that?”

“I should have.”

“Yeah, you really should have. Do you know how crazy that sounds.. my boyfriend can’t pick me up he is doing a commercial.” He said.

“Jo, I don’t know what you want me to say. I’m sorry. I should have been there and I wasn’t.” He said.

“I know, I get it. I just don’t think we should make Max pick between the two of us.” I said.

“He didn’t tell me.” He said. I just looked at him.

“I can tell when you are mad and when you are lying.” He said.

“I’m sorry.” I said.

“So how was the tournament?”

“It was good. We didn’t make the playoffs, so basically the season is over.” I said.

“I’m sorry, babe.” He said putting his arm around me.

“Its fine.”

“Are you glad you played?”

“Yeah. I’m really happy you got to see a few games. That was fun. And it wasn’t that bad, I mean like it didn’t make us not be able to see eachother that much.” I said.

“I’m really glad you played.” He said.

“Morning, baby.” He said the next morning. I simply just smiled.

“I love mornings like this.” I whispered.

“Me too.”

“Too bad, you leave in like two days.” I said.

“I know, but its Detroit.” He said.

“Revenge is sweet.” I said.

“It is. So is the family coming here for Thanksgiving?” He asked me.

“I don’t know. Its still like two weeks away. I have like three exams from now til then.” I said.

“You will be fine.” He said.

“Are you home for Thanksgiving?”

“No, away trip.” He said.

“That sucks. Atleast you guys are playing really well right now.” I said.

“Yeah, its been good.”

“Hey, babe.” He said calling me later in the day.

“Hey.”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m just laying in my room.”

“At home or in the dorm?”He asked.

“Dorm. Sophie is out with Jake.” I said.

“Does that still bother you?”

“What do you think?”

“I think it does.”

“Yeah, you would be right.”

“Why does it bother you so much?”

“Probably why it bothers you that I talked to Max about you.” I said.

“It didn’t.”

“Okay, well it bothers me because now its like I went from having two friends to not really having any. If I talk to Sophie, she has the right to tell Jake. If I tell Jake, he has the right to tell Sophie. Well sometimes when I talk to someone I just want them to know. I just want to talk to Sophie and not worry that Jake is going to know, and vice versa. Its just like their loyalty is different. I don’t blame them and I’m not mad at them, it just means they aren’t who they were to me anymore.” I said.

“Babe, you can talk to them.”

“I know I can. But its like we all could hang out before but now I never hang out with just one of them. I just miss them. I just.. Jake was my best friend and then Sophie came and became my best friend. Now they have eachother so where does that leave me?”

“with me.” He simply said.

“I know. You are my best friend. But sometimes I just need other people. That’s one of the reasons I like hanging out with Max.” I said.

“That makes sense. Babe, you don’t have to be ashamed of how you feel about Sophie and Jake.” He said.

“I’m not.” I said.

Then we just sat there in silence for awhile. I was lying in bed and I don’t know what he was doing actually. I could hear him breathing, it sounded like he was just lying there as well. I needed to be with him but I didn’t know if I should be. I just feel weird right now. Its hard to describe.

“Are you okay?” He asked after about ten minutes of silence.

“I’m fine.” I said. I guess he didn’t believe me because after another ten minutes of silence I heard a knock at my door.

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

“This.” He said and just held me.

“Sometimes I just feel sad. I just don’t feel like there is anyone to talk too.” I said while lying in the bed with him.

“You always have me.” He said.

“I know, Sidney. I know that.” I said.

“Just talk to Sophie and Jake.” He said.

“Did you know she is never here? I only saw her at soccer or at class.” I said.

“You are with me a lot.”

“I know. Its just weird. I don’t know. I’ll get over it.” I said.

“You shouldn’t have too. Just simply talk to them.” He said.

“Baby…” I said.

“You know you can always talk to me. I’m always here. But you should have other people too.”

“I know.”

“Call Connor or something.” He said.

“I will.” I said.

“Can we just lay here for awhile?” I asked.

“Anything you want.” He said kissing me.

Chapter Eighty-Six

November

I had a tournament in Michigan for four days. Sidney has been away as well. Everything has been really good with the two of us. No fights, no nothing. We are actually kind of boring. People tell us that all the time. Its kind of a compliment. Sidney was coming to pick me up after the tournament. We were at the airport and I was thinking I would see Sidney. He said he was going to be there. Instead, it was Max.

“Hey?” I said walking over to him.

“Hey, sorry its just me.” He said.

“You are good enough.” I said smiling.

“Sure.”

“Where is Sidney?” I asked after he got my bags.

“He had a commercial.”

“Oh.” I simply said.

“He really wanted to be here. He thought he could make it, but he ended up not being able too.” He said being so sincere.

“Yeah, I get it.”

“I’m sorry.” He said.

“Its not your fault.” I said playing with the ring on my necklace.

“Whats wrong?”

“Its just..” I said and then realized I shouldn’t say anything.

“What?”

“I love Sidney, don’t get me wrong. Its just he isn’t here because he has to do a commercial. How stupid does that statement sound?” I said looking at him.

“He wanted to be here, though.”

“I’m sure he did. But, he’s not.” I said.

“Do you want to get lunch or something?” He asked.

“Yeah, that would be great.” I said.

So that’s what we did. We went to lunch. It was kind of weird at first being with Max without Sidney. But, after a few minutes it just seemed normal.

“So whats really wrong?” He asked.

“this.” I said pulling up the ring.

“you don’t like it?” He asked confused.

“Of course I like it.” I said shaking my head.

“Then whats wrong?”

“Today. He wasn’t there, he was at a commercial. Do I love Sidney? Yeah, with my whole heart.”

“So whats the problem?”

“Did you know that before I met Sidney, I didn’t even believe in marriage.” I said.

“You are lying.”

“No, I’m serious. Forever is a long time don’t you think?” I asked.

“Yeah, its forever.” He said not really sure where I was going with this.

“Yeah, that’s a long time. I didn’t believe that you could want to be with someone for that long. I couldn’t even imagine loving someone enough to want to even know them for forever.. then I met Sidney.”

“Okay?”

“I love Sidney but I can’t imagine our life together.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean like when you sit down and picture ten years from now.. I can’t really picture it. I love Sidney and I can’t imagine loving anyone else. I can’t imagine marrying someone that isn’t Sidney. But, is this what our life is going to be like? Him not being able to do things because of a commercial. I mean in all seriousness, I don’t want to just be Sidney Crosby’s wife. I want to have a life and a job.”

“you will.”

“Yeah, but then what.. I just leave for Canada when he does? Pittsburgh is my home. I love it here. What happens if he leaves the Penguins? I’m suppose to follow him and of course I would. But I mean Cole Harbour is his home, Pittsburgh is mine.” I said.

“He gets that.”

“I know.. I just don’t know. This ring is just so serious.”

“So you don’t want it?”

“No, I do. I love him and I want to be his wife. Its just I’m 19.” I said. He just looked at him. It seems like he didn’t know what to say.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have told you these things.” I said.

“No, its fine. We are friends. You should know that Sidney really does love you. He loves you more than anyone I have ever seen.” He said.

“Thanks for saying that.”

“I’m not just saying it. It’s the truth.”

“Thanks, Max.” I said smiling.

Short Post

I had to admit that even though a week has passed I still couldn’t believe that Sidney gave me an engagement ring. I know its not really an engagement ring, but it also is going to be one day. It was weird having it around my neck. Everything seemed so official now. Its not like we weren’t committed to eachother or something like that, it just meant so much more now. I was scared, I wasn’t going to lie. I was so scared because even though I knew I loved Sidney, forever was a long time away.

Needless to say, my parents weren’t too excited about it. Don’t get me wrong, my parents loved Sidney. But I am 19, they didn’t think I would be thinking about marriage. For all they knew, I still didn’t believe in marriage. Which would be true if Sidney wasn’t Sidney.

“What happens if I lose it?” I asked him one night we were at dinner and I was looking at my necklace with the ring on it.

“I’ll buy you a new one.” He simply said. It seemed like nothing to him. He seemed so sure everything. I just gave him a look.

“What’s really wrong?” He asked me.

“Nothing. I’m fine.”

“You have been acting weird lately.”

“I’m fine.” I insisted.

“The ring freaked you out didn’t it?”

“Its not like I don’t love you.” I said.

“I know, Jo.”

“Its just now what happens if we break up? What happens if we have one of our infamous fights and we are like we are done. I know I always said that the next time would be it, but I don’t know. It just seems like now if we do break up, it would be for real because of this ring.” I said.

“First of all, I don’t think we are going to break up. And nothing has changed because of this ring. I love you and this ring just symbolizes that. I don’t want you to think I want to be with someone else. I don’t want you to worry when I’m on an away trip. I love you and when you see this ring you should know that you are the only girl that will ever be enough.” He said.

I just looked at him. He always knows exactly what to say. I know he usually means everything he says. But he can’t possibly be as sure as he sounds. He was always the one that would be unsure. He was the one that doubted things more than me. That’s what Brittany was all about. That’s what every fight stems from. I do love Sidney and I don’t want him to doubt that, but I’m still unsure about a few things, having this ring doesn’t change that.

Chapter Eighty-Five

Sidney left for Sweden. He wouldn’t be back for two weeks. It would be hard, really hard. Because we couldn’t talk on the phone that much, either. It would be hard because Sidney is my best friend. Without him, I have Jacob and Sophie and Connor, that’s it. If I don’t talk to Sidney, I have to talk to one of them. Problem is Sophie has Jake now and vice versa. Connor is Connor so who knows. I would go and talk to Simon, but Sidney hates Simon.

“Hey.” He called one night.

“hi.” I replied.

“How was your day?” He asked.

“Well its day eight without you.” I said.

“Jo.” He said.

“What? I’m just saying. I miss you. Its lonely without you.”

“I miss you too.”

“You have your teammates who are like your best friends.” I said.

“you have soccer and Sophie, Jake, and Connor.” He said.

“I just want you back.” I said.

“Hey, babe. I love you but I have to go. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“I leave tomorrow for a road trip to Michigan.” I said.

“Well call me when you can. I love you.” He said.

“I love you, too.” I said.

“Jo, I miss you. Everything is going to be fine. You worry too much.” He said.

“Thanks, be safe.”

“You too love.” He said and then he hung up.

Mid-October.

Sidney and I have been normal. Everything has been good. Max and us have hung up all the time. Usually multiple times a week. I stay are Sidney’s on the weekends and we are together a lot. Everything feels good.

“Don’t make any plans for tomorrow night.” Sidney said after his game.

“Why?”

“I’m planning something.” He said.

“Okay.” I said confused.

The next day Sidney picked me up for a date night. I didn’t realize what today was. It was October 19. Three years ago to the day I met Sidney. He remembered. He always remembers.

After we went to dinner, we went to the park I always go too when I am sad. We sat on the bench and just held hands. It felt so right.

“Three years ago, a girl rang the doorbell. No idea that girl would become my best friend, soul mate, or my girlfriend. In some ways three years seems so long ago because we been through so much. I can’t imagine meeting you and not loving you from that day. I can’t imagine what life would be like if you never came to pick your sister up.” He said.

“I love you.” I looked at him.

“I love you too. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. I don’t tell you enough how you have changed my life. I never thought it would be okay to not love hockey the most. Three years ago flew by because you have always been there. You are always there no matter what happens. I love you and I can’t tell you how much I love you. This day three years ago could arguably have been the best day of my life because it changed the course of my life forever. Thank you for loving me.”

“No, Sidney. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for picking me and sticking with me.” I said with tears.

“I got you something.” He said pulling out a box wrapped.

I opened the box and pulled out a diamond ring on a silver chain.

“This is hopefully our engagement ring. I know its way too early for us to get married. But, I never will doubt the fact that it will happen.” He said and I just looked at him.

“I just don’t want you to doubt either. When you see this ring I want it to remind you that someone is always thinking of you and that I love you.” He said and he pulled out the ring. I looked at it. It was beautiful. I don’t even want to think of how much it cost. It was white gold with a princess cut diamond in the center. It had two smaller diamonds on either side. It was beautiful.

“Sidney, you didn’t need to do this.”

“I love you and I don’t want you to ever feel alone, because you aren’t. I’m always going to be here.” He said.

“Did you see what it said?” He asked me. I looked at it again. It had our initials and it had Forever my best friend, eternally my love. I read it and I just started to cry.

“Babe, I love you so much and you didn’t need to do this. I know you love me.”

“It just doesn’t seem right for us to keep saying I love you. Because its not enough for me to say it. If you weren’t in school I would marry you tomorrow. That’s how sure I am that I want you to be by my side.” He said.

Chapter Eighty-Four

“Guess what I’m doing tomorrow.” He said on the phone late one night.

“Going to practice?” I asked confused on where he was going with this.

“True. But I am also going to an RMU soccer game.” He said.

“Are you really?” I asked. I was so surprised. Sidney hasn’t seen me play soccer since I was in high school.

“Max and I will be there.” He said. Lately, Max has been hanging around more often. He doesn’t have a girlfriend and he says when he is hanging with us he doesn’t feel like a third wheel like he does when he is with some of the other guys.

“Oh, awesome. We should go eat after.” I said. We talked for a little while longer. Then I hung up so I could get some sleep. It was our first home game tomorrow, and I was really nervous. I was even more nervous now that I knew Sidney would be there.

“Is that Sidney Crosby?” One of the freshman girls asked during warm ups.

“Yeah.” Sophie replied.

“Why is he here?” She asked.

“He is kind of my boyfriend.” I said.

“You are dating Sidney Crosby?”

“Yeah, I thought everyone knew. We have been best friends forever.” I said.

“Wow, you are like the luckiest girl, ever.”

“Sure, I guess.” I said.

It was weird that she didn’t know. It was weird that someone was making me and Sidney into a big deal. It was weird, because it really just seemed normal to me. It seemed normal that my boyfriend is Sidney Crosby. That my boyfriend has thousands of girls wishing they could get with him. It was normal for fans to be everything. This was all normal, but him sitting in the stands watching me, wasn’t that normal.

We won the game. I didn’t play bad, but I didn’t score at all. When I walked out of the lockerroom, Sidney was signing autographs. He was signing autographs and taking pictures with fans at my game. I walked over and just talked to Max.

“Good game.” He said.

“Thanks.” I said looking at the crowd around Sidney.

“It was fun watching you.” He said.

“I think people will come just to see Sidney rather than come to watch the game.” I said.

“He didn’t want this to happen.” He said.

“I’m sure.” I said and went to sit on the bleachers.

“No, seriously.”

“I know, its not his fault. I’m glad he came.” I said.

“I’m glad you came too.” I said looking at Max.

“Sid was really excited to come. He told like everyone at practice today.” Max said. It made me laugh.

“It’s the truth.” Max said.

“I know, I’m just tired.” I said. About two minutes later, Sidney walked over.

“Good game, babe.” He said picking up my bag.

“You don’t have to carry my bag. I said.

“I’m your boyfriend, this is something boyfriends do.” He said.

“Okay? I’m pretty sure boyfriends don’t sign autographs.” I said.

“Sorry.” He said. He looked sincere.

“I know. Its fine.” I said. Max, Sid, and I all went to get food after the game. Then, we went back to Max’s house to watch a movie. It was kind of fun hanging out with someone other than just Sidney. I still love Sidney and Sidney and I have our share of alone time, but its fun just hanging out. And Max is so funny. He compliments Sidney well. Its fun to watch. Its even better when Marc-Andre and Jordan and TK are around. Unfortunately, when they are around, the girlfriends are around. The girlfriends still don’t like me much for some reason.

“I don’t want you to leave.” I said while laying in bed with Sidney at Mario’s house. It was the day before he was leaving for Sweden for two weeks.

“Me either.”

“Shut up, you so do. You are so excited to go to Sweden and be with the guys and start the season.” I said smiling at him.

“Yeah, but I wish you could come too.”

“Thanks babe.” I said smiling.

“I’m serious.”

“I know, its just I feel like you just got back and now you are leaving again.”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“Its not your fault.”I said.

“You kind of are acting like it.”

“What?”

“I’m just saying just because I have to leave, doesn’t mean I want too.”

“I know.”

“I don’t think you do.”

“I know you love me, Sidney. I know that. I know that you love being with me. I also know you love hockey. You love it maybe more than you love me. You love it more than I could ever understand. But, I accept it. Its hard to know that when you are gone you aren’t missing me because you still have hockey.”

“I don’t love hockey more than I love you. And, just because I am going away to play hockey doesn’t mean I don’t miss you. Of course, I miss you. You are the love of my life.” He said.

“I know I’m sorry.” I said wiping away a tear.

“Why are you crying?”

“I hate when you leave. You would think I would have gotten use to it, but its still hard. Especially because it’s the first time you leave. The middle of the season, its easier because I’m more use to it. But right now, in this moment.. I just don’t want my boyfriend to leave.”

“As your boyfriend, I don’t want to leave. As a hockey player, I want too.” He said.

“I know, and I can’t be mad at you for that. Atleast I can watch you on tv.” I said.

“I’ll talk to you all the time.” He said.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. You don’t need to with me.” He said.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too Jo. I will love you no matter how far away I am playing hockey. I love you and I will miss you more than you will know. But you have to know that I am coming back. I will always come back to you.” He said kissing me.

Chapter Eighty-Three

The day is finally here! Sidney comes back today. Its already the second week of September. Classes are in full swing and so is soccer. My coaches decided that I don’t need to be redshirted, so I am playing. Actually, I am starting. We have only had two games, but none of that really matters. Sidney is coming back today! Nothing could be better then this moment, I am so excited. A little nervous to see him again because I haven’t seen him in so long, but so excited regardless! I was going to go pick him up from the airport right after class. This past month has been torture. I think its funny when people say oh, its only a month how hard can it be? You would be surprised. Sidney and I are not only best friends, we are soul mates. He is the love of my life, imagine not being able to look at the love of your life in the eyes for a month. Imagine not being able to run your hands through their hair. Imagine forgetting their smell. Imagine forgetting the way they feel when you touch them, or the way you feel when he touches you. It is more than not being able to kiss him, it goes deeper than that. Every little thing I want Sidney to know about and its hard having to call him. Its hard going from being with him constantly to not being with him at all. People say well don’t you talk? Of course we talk! We talk so much on the phone that is annoys the people near us, but its not the same. Yes, I don’t forget the sound of his voice but I haven’t been able to feel his arms around me. I haven’t been able to see him sleep. There are little things that just add up to monumental things. I know that when he comes back, we won’t be together constantly. But, I can’t even describe how comforting it is to know that he is only a short drive away. As corny as it sounds, when you love someone it truly is like a part of your soul is missing when they aren’t with you. I never realized how deep our love was until the summer. When I am not with him, I literally hurt.

As soon as I saw him walk off the plane, my heart melted. He looked so good. I couldn’t wait to wrap my arms around him and give him a kiss.

“I guess you missed me?” He asked after we hugged and kissed and just looked at eachother for what seemed like hours.

“Shut up!” I said and kissed him again.

“So when is your next soccer game?” He asked me while walking out of the airport hand in hand.

“In three days.” I simply said.

“Good, I’m going.” He said.

“You don’t have too.”

“Of course I do! You are my girlfriend, I want to see you kick ass on the field. Plus, once hockey starts up for real it will be hard.” He said.

“I love you.” I said smiling at him.

“I love you too, baby.” He said kissing the hand he was holding.

“So what do you want to do?” He asked once we got into the car.

“be with you.”I simply said.

“Besides that.” He said.

“What do you mean? That’s all I want.”

“Dinner? Movie? Studying, what?”

“I definitely don’t want to study the first night together. Dinner sounds good. I guess you want to stay at Mario’s tonight?”

“Probably should.” He said and I guess my face fell.

“With you, of course.” He said.

“I missed you so much.” I said.

“I know, I like counted down the days.. I can’t believe its finally here.” He said.

“I know, its surreal.” I said just staring at him. Its weird to say but I did forget how good looking he was. For so long I couldn’t wait for this day and it was weird that it was here. I loved him so much it scared me. It scared me how much it hurt not to be with him. It scared me how happy I was to see him again. This whole relationship scares the hell out of me, I am not going to lie. I never thought I would completely trust someone as much as I do with Sidney. I love him and I don’t ever see that changing which scares me.

Chapter Eighty-Two

“Hey, babe.” I said when I got home and calling Sidney.

“How’s Simon?” he asked me.

“Fine.”

“How was soccer?” He asked.

“Sidney, don’t act like this.”

“I’m not acting like anything.”

“Yes you are. Soccer was brutal. I don’t know how I am going to make it through this week. But, the bigger question is why you are mad at me?”

“I’m not mad at me. I am simply upset that my girlfriend is thousands of miles away. I’m upset because I miss her more than humanly possible. I’m upset because I am not with her but she is with her ex boyfriend.”

“Did you get my letter?” I asked.

“Yeah.”

“Then read it again and stop being stupid.” I said.

Sid,

I love you. And I miss you. Anything else that I could possibly say to you isn’t nearly as important at those two simple sentences. Life sucks sometimes and I’m often scared of what lies ahead for us, but I know that nothing could pull us apart. No man could ever capture my heart the way you did. You have my heart, completely and undeniably. You probably are wondering why I am telling you this, but it seems pretty common to express these feelings when we are so far away from eachother. Though, I know I will doubt you sometimes and I know that sometimes I will question girls throwing themselves at you and you may doubt me spending time with Simon or Connor, me and you.. we are forever. This won’t go away easily. I love you and I miss you.

PS. I don’t really like writing these letters because its like me telling you I love you in like hundred different ways. I know that its necessary sometimes, but a simple I love you should do the trick. So I love you.

Forever plus Eternity xoxo

“Did you read it?” I asked after about five minutes of silence on the phone.

“Yes.”

“And what did it say?”

“That you love me and nothing could tear us apart.” He said.

“Exactly. So yes, I spent the day with Simon. Yes, we dated. Yes, we had sex. But, no I don’t love him. No, I would never think about being with him over you. NEVER!” I said.

“Okay..”

“Sidney, all we did was lay around. I was tired, I iced my knee. He supplied the ice. If you were around, I wouldn’t have been there.”

“Exactly, Jo. If I was around.. but I’m not.”

“Sidney, I love you. Deal with it.” I said and hung up the phone.

“I can’t believe you hung up on me.” He said about five seconds later.

“You are being a jerk. I don’t know how to tell you any other way to tell you that I love you and you are the only person I want to be with. I don’t know how this is going to work if saying I love you isn’t enough anymore.”

“Its enough. Okay, I just miss you.”

“And I miss you but I’m not jumping down your throat.” I said.

“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I just miss you.”

“And I miss you. I’ll call you later tonight.” I said.

“Is it sad that this is my favorite part of the day?” I asked lying in bed with Sidney on the other end of the phone.

“What is?”

“Just lying here pretending that you are with me. I like just knowing that we are both in bed. I wish you were beside me but its comforting to be able to just hear you breathe.” I said.

“I know. But it is killing my bank account by sleeping with you by phone.” He said.

“Good thing that bank account is pretty full.” I said laughing. We do this every night since we have been apart. We just stay on the phone while we are sleeping. Its comforting.

“Do you think this is as good as it gets?” I asked him after about twenty minutes of just listening to him breathe.

“No, but it wouldn’t be bad if it was.” He said.

“Sidney, I miss you.” I whispered.

“I know.”

“No, I miss you so much that it hurts.” I said crying a little.

“Joey, don’t cry.” He said.

“I just don’t like this. I know this is how we are. I know that we spend more time apart than a normal couple, but it doesn’t make it easier.”

“No one said it would be easy, but the alternative is not being with you.. and that’s not an alternative for me.”He said.

“I love you.. and I love that we are dorks.” I said smiling.

“babe, you have practice early tomorrow, lets just go to sleep.”

“Okay, night.. I love you.” I said.. putting the phone beside me on the pillow and closing my eyes. Sometimes I wake up and just listen to the phone to hear him breathe. I know you are going to think we are crazy. Jacob walked in once and said we were. But no one can understand. We don’t do this when he has games and we only did it a few times before I left Canada, but it helps. It helps being able to hear him. It helps knowing where he is, and it sounds crazy but its comforting.

Chapter Eighty-One

The next day was the start of soccer. We were conditioning and whatnot. I was kind of worried about it, because it was still up in the air if I would play this year. It was up in the air and I was still unsure if I even wanted to play. I knew I would play, I knew Sidney wanted me too, but I also knew playing would cut down the limited time Sidney and I have together. The only good thing in playing was that my best friend, Sophie, played too. And of course Simon plays on the boys team, and he is one of my best friends too. Simon was my best friend and I know Sidney knew that, but I’m sure it hasn’t escaped his mind that at one time in my life I did pick Simon over him. Looking back I’m not really sure what I was thinking when I made that decision.

“that sucked.” I said walking out of the lockerroom with Sophie.

“Yeah, you held up better than me.” She said.

“Yeah right!”

“You definitely looked good, Jo. I think they are definitely going to let you play.” She said.

“Really?” I asked shocked.

“Yeah, you looked really good. You are by far one of the best players. I guess you worked out in Canada?” She asked. Sophie and I hadn’t really talked much since I left. I never told her or anyone else, but I did find it a little strange that she was dating my brother. I didn’t at first, I thought it would be great. But, it wasn’t. Its kind of like now she isn’t going to be on my side. I feel like I can’t just talk to her like I use too because she has the right to tell her boyfriend things, but I don’t want my brother to know stuff. She is definitely still my best friend and I love her to death and I would never wish her and Jake to break up, but things between her and I could never be the way they were because her loyalties lie with someone else now.

“Yeah, Sidney and I ran together a lot. I would work out with him somedays. Not as long as he would, obviously. He is crazy. He has an insane work schedule.” I explained.

“Yeah, I could only imagine. When does he come back?” She asked.

“Beginning of September.” I said.

“Oh that’s not that bad.” She said.

“Not that bad, but still bad enough.” I said giving a little laugh.

“Hey, Jo!” I heard Simon said from behind me. I stopped to let him catch up to us.

“Hey, when did you get in town?” I asked. I knew he would be back, the boys started today too but I figured it would tell me.

“Two days ago.”

“And this is the first time we are seeing eachother?!” I asked shocked.

“Sorry.” He said giving me a hug. I just gave him a look.

“you should come to the house so we can hang out.” He said. I looked at Sophie because I was her ride back to my house. She was basically living there with Jake.

“I’ll just take your car.” Sophie said.

“oh yeah that works.” I said.

“Yeah, I’ll take you home.” Simon said and then Sophie headed to where we parked the car. Simon and I headed to the soccer house.

“I’m so tired.” I said plopping down on the couch.

“Me too.” He said.

“I can’t wait to do it all over again tomorrow, and the next day after that and after that.”

“Gotta love soccer.”He said laughing.

“You can’t say you love it after this.” I said.

“I do and so do you.” He said.

“Yeah, I know.. So how was going back home to London?” I asked him. I talked to Simon probably more than I talked to Sophie while I was in Canada, but you have to realize that I hurt both Simon and Sidney last year. I hurt Simon when I picked Sidney and it took us awhile to get to where we are today, and I hurt Sidney more than I could ever imagine. They both probably don’t like thinking about me with the other. Simon is more use to it since its not going to change, but still. While I was in Canada, I tried to talk to Simon but still he doesn’t want to hear about every little thing that I would do with Sidney. Its not like I want to rub it in, even if the wound isn’t fresh.

“It was good. I briefly got back together with Kylie.” He said.

“What? I thought you guys were done?!” I said confused. Kylie and Simon dated while in high school in London. They dated on and off, basically while he was in the UK he would date her but once he got to the US he wouldn’t. It was a weird situation but Simon insisted last year that never again would he be with Kylie again.

“It was a lapse in judgement. It lasted for like a month.” He said laughing.

“I will never understand you.” I said and then my phone rand. It was Sidney.

“Hey.” I said answering my phone.

“Hey babe. What are you doing?!” He asked.

“I was at soccer and then now I am at Simons just catching up.” I said.

“Oh.” He simply said. I could tell he didn’t like thinking about it.

“Can I call you later? Probably like an hour or so?” I asked.

“That’s fine.” He simply said.

“K, love you.” I said. He didn’t say anything he just hung up the phone. I tried not to think too much of it, but when your relationship is solely based on emails and letters and phone calls, you tend to read into things.

“Sidney is mad?” Simon asked.

“I don’t know. He is probably just tired or in a bad mood or something. I don’t know.” I said again.

“So you two are good then?” He asked.

“Yeah, we are really good. Its been hard.”

“Yeah well obviously.”

“We write emails daily and we will send letters. I actually just sent him a letter today, so he should be getting it in a few days. Then we talk on the phone every night and text or whatnot.” I explained.

“It seems like you guys are good then.”

“Yeah, but its still hard not seeing him. I mean to go from living with him for a month to not even seeing him once a week is weird.” I said.

“he will be back sooner than you think.”

“Yeah and soccer will be in full swing. Then he goes to Europe for like two weeks for hockey. Then hockey is completely in full swing. Its never ending.” I said.

“Your relationship seems impossible.” He said shaking his head.

“On paper our relationship seems impossible, but it just feels right. You know?”

“Yeah.. I didn’t mean anything by it. I mean it seems impossible but you guys are perfect together.” He said trying to defend himself.

“I know you didn’t mean anything by it. But you are right, if you would explain to someone our situation no one would think it would work.. but somehow it does.” I said.

“Do you ever worry that the will cheat on you?”

“What?!” I said completely shocked that he would ask this kind of question.

“I just mean you hear about hockey players cheating on their wives and stuff.”

“I’m sure some of his teammates cheat on their girlfriends and wives, but would Sidney? No.” I said.

“But hasn’t he before.”

“Yeah, but I also told him I didn’t want a boyfriend and I started dating you. Sidney and I have gone through everything together. We have both been on the wrong side of things. Has Sidney cheated on me before? Not technically. We weren’t exclusive or he broke up with me before he started being with Brittany. It doesn’t even cross my mind that Sidney would cheat on me. Its actually the last thing I would worry about when he leaves.” I explained.

“And that’s how you know that you two are the real thing.” He said.

“Shut up, Simon!” I said.