Chapter Seventy-Seven

The thing I like most about being in Canada, is that we can walk around and no one really comes up to us. We walk the streets holding hands, just walking around in Halifax or around the neighborhood with Sam, and no one bothers us. Sewickley has gotten good about it, no one really comes up to us. But still we get stares when we are in Pittsburgh. I was leaving in a week. Its already been a month that I have been here. And boy, has it been the best month ever. Sidney and I’s relationship seems to be stronger than ever. I was leaving two days after Sidney’s birthday. It was his big 2-1. He doesn’t even seem to care. I guess when you live in a country where the drinking age is lower, 21 is just another birthday. It was big to me because I’m an American. Colby Armstrong was coming up and Jack Johnson. I was excited to see Colby, I hadn’t seen him in forever. I never even met Jack so that would be fun. His other friends would be around and Mario and them were coming up, I believe. I would be leaving after that to go to practice. I decided I would play soccer this year. They probably will red-shirt me, but I was going to give it a try.

“I think I’m going to play this year.” I said sitting on the dock while Sidney fished.

“So when do you leave?” He asked me.

“I’ll leave like right after your birthday.” I said.

“That sucks. I can’t believe that its already time for you to leave.” He said.

“I know, I just think I should try and play. I use to love it, I think I could again.” I said.

“I think you should play. I remember what it was like before. You are amazing at it too.”

“If only my knee wasn’t a pain in the ass.” I said shaking my head.

“We should go running later, or something. You should come work out with me.” He said.

“You act like I do nothing. I run when you are working out. I work out with the ball in the yard. Its just sometimes playing soccer makes me feel like..” I started.

“Like what..”

“sometimes it feels like either I play or I’m with you.”

“Its not like that. I want to see you play.” He said.

“Yeah, but you are so busy. I just don’t want to be busy too. If you are around, I don’t want to have to go to an away game or a tournament and miss you.” I said.

“Babe, I want you to do whatever you want. I support you 100%.” He said.

“I know.” I said smiling. “That’s why I love you.” I said.

“The only reason?” He asked.

“Oh and because you are a really good fisherman.” I said.

“Well that’s just obvious.” He said laughing.

“Yeah, totally.” I said shaking my head.

August 6

“Hey, Sid. Come up here!” I called when I heard him come back from his workout.

“Hey babe.” He said coming over to me and kissing me.

“I want you to open your gifts before everyone comes.” I said handing him his birthday presents. The first one was a three part frame. The first picture was of me drawing the letter I. The second picture was me finishing the e in the word love. The third picture was of me completing the letter U.

“I love it.” He said.

“When did you do it?” He asked.

“when I was at the Hamptons. I felt stupid while I was doing it actually. I made Ben take my picture and everyone was just looking at me.” I said.

“Its perfect.” He said. The next present was a dress shirt and tie. It was a dark red shirt and a white tie.

“I know you will never wear it for like games or anything, because you are boring and will only wear blue. But, there is something about a man in red.” I said smiling.

“I’m not boring.” He said.

“Whatever. This more your taste.” I said handing him the next present. It was a white with blue checkers dress shirt. And a Blue designed tie.

“Its blue, so you can actually wear it out.” I said laughing. Last one, I said handing me the last present. It was a Burton beanie and sweater.

“I know you love your hats.” I said.

“Thanks, Jo. You didn’t have to get me anything.” He said pulling me into a hug.

“Of course, I did! Its your birthday and I love you!” I said.

“Yeah, but you are all I need.”

“Stop with the corny stuff!” I said giving him a quick kiss.

“And of course, here is your card.” I said.

“You mean letter.” He corrected me.

“Ehh Whatever! Just read it!” I said.

Baby,

Happy Birthday! Its hard to believe that we are celebrating another birthday together. Its crazy that we have almost known each other for three years. When I met you, you were this 18 year old boy who still didn’t even have a car! You were still trying to find your way, and its been amazing being along for the ride. I know this past year hasn’t been the easiest, with hockey and with us. Just always know that you are an amazing hockey player. Your passion inspires me everyday. You are the heart and soul of that team, and I know your best years are still to come.

As fantastic as you are at hockey, you are even better as a boyfriend and best friend. I know its cliché to say, but I really do love you more each day. Yeah, that rhyme, sue me. I never want you to question our love, and I know that you don’t. I am always the one that is doing the questioning. You are my rock and without you I would be lost. You are my best friend and the love of my life. I have the most wonderful time with you here. It just got me even more excited for our life together. I love watching you fish, I even love playing games with you. I just wanted to say thank you for loving me. Thank you for welcoming me into your life. Thank you for being you. I love you and I can’t wait to celebrate so many more birthdays with you! Yay! You are 21 and can now legally drink in America, I mean come on, we both know you are have been for years! I love you and I hope you have a fabulous birthday. I just hope I can survive you, Colby, and Jack all together!

PS: You better wear that red shirt! I know where you live!

I love you with all my heart, Sidney Patrick Crosby. Please never forget that.

Happy 21^st Birthday Baby! I love you!!

“I love you.” He said kissing me.

“I can’t wait for you to meet Jack! I can’t believe you haven’t yet. Its so weird!” He said.

“I know, I feel like I already know him. I mean you basically have a mad crush on him!” I said.

“You will once you meet him!” He said.

“As long as he doesn’t steal my boyfriend..” I said giving him a big kiss.

“Not possible.”

Chapter Seventy-Six

Two Days Later.

Tonight, Sidney and I are having a date night. Its funny that that’s what I’m calling it because every night is like a date night, but still. Tonight we are going to a fancy dinner, I don’t really know. Sidney is planning it all. I’m really excited. Sidney and I haven’t really been out and about in Halifax at all. Usually our nights are dinner with his family, then movie night or something. Or we play a game or get ice cream or we go running with Sam. So much fun, I know. But, tonight.. apparently he is being romantic or something. Who knows.

I decided to dress the part. I put on a white short skirt. Then it was paired with a black loose fitting low cut shirt. And a long silver necklace. I figured that it had been a while since Sidney had seen me in anything that actually revealed anything. I then picked up these pair of black wedges that I actually stole from Sophie. I was turning over a new leaf. I got a man I loved and I was going to dress more confident and mature. Plus, the man of my life is Sidney Crosby, I don’t want to embarrass him. I know he says that I am the most beautiful when I am wearing sweats and have my hair in a pony tail. He says that’s when he fell for me, he doesn’t need to see me wear fancy clothes. He knows what I look like, and he thinks I am beautiful in anything. Yeah, I think he just says these things because he knows he should.

It was a weird thing I was feeling. I was excited to see him. I hadn’t seen him at like all today. We decided to do this when he was getting ready for his workout. Then he went to workout and then went to play hockey with Taylor. He was taking it seriously about this date thing, and said he would get ready at his parents and would come pick me up. He was a dork, but I loved it about him.

I heard the door bell ring.

“Sidney, just come in!” I yelled. I knew it was him. He is such a dork! Its his own house, and he is ringing the door bell!

“You look beautiful.” He said giving me a kiss and handing me a single coral rose.

“Your favorite.” He said.

“You are a dork.” I said laughing.

“And you.. you are perfect.” He said pulling me closer.

“You don’t have to say those things.” I said blushing.

“When will you ever let me just compliment you? Its been three years and still.. I can’t tell you that you are beautiful or that I love you without you blushing.” He said.

“That’s not true.” I said shaking my head.

“It is. And you are beautiful. I see it everyday and you don’t. But I have seen it since that first day. I think I fell for you right then.” He said once we got into the car.

“Oh you are such a liar! You didn’t fall for me then.” I said.

“How do you know?” He asked.

“Because we have broken up so many times since that day.” I said.

“Me breaking up with you or you breaking up with me didn’t mean that I stopped loving you. I wish you would realize that.” He said.

When I was sitting across from him in the restaurant, it hit me. I was looking at my future. I was looking at the man I would love for all eternity, and it didn’t scare me. Sometimes when I look at Sidney, it just hits me. It hits me how amazingly good looking he is, and how much he loves me. When I stare into his eyes, I truly can see his soul. And I think Sidney is most gorgeous man I have seen, but boy, his soul is even more gorgeous.

“this is perfect.” I said reaching for my wine glass.

“You are.” He said laughing.

“Way to ruin the moment.” I said.

“I can’t believe we made it through everything.” He said.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I mean everything that happened. You made it through high school, I made it through the ankle thing, we made it through Brittany and Simon and Jeremiah and Connor and Avery.” He said.

“Wow, looks like you have had more flings than I have.” He said.

“Or maybe you just can only remember Brittany’s name. Because I’m pretty sure there were other ones.” I said smiling.

“You are so bad!” He said.

“It is so true.” I said smiling even more.

“Its weird to think about though. We are sitting here, and I have never loved you more.” He said reaching for my hand.

“I know, when I met you.. I was 16. I was a junior in high school. That seems so long ago.” I said.

“I’m just really glad you are here right now. I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else. I know that now.” He said.

“Oh just give it a few months.” I said shaking my head.

“Its not true. This time is for forever.” He said.

“You know, I never thought that we would be that couple that is on again off again. When we first started dating, I thought it would be forever right then.” I said.

“Then it ended like 3 months later.” I said laughing.

“I was stupid.” He said.

“Its okay, I forgive you.” I said.

“Do you love Canada so far?” He asked.

“I do. I think I already loved it before I came here.” I said.

“What?”

“You are Canadian. You love it. You love it, I love it. Its just how it works these days.” I said.

“I wish we could just freeze time.” He said later that night when we were laying in bed together. We had just made love and I had never felt closer to him that this moment. We were on the same page with everything. We were in sync. I loved that feeling. I love the feeling of his arms around me and the feeling of safety. I love the feeling that I get when he looks at me. I love that feeling that knowing that when he looks at me, no one can take that away. I love the fact that in a crowded room, it can feel like its just the two of us. And mostly, I just love that he loves me.

“Why? You wouldn’t have the cup yet then.” I said.

“True. I just want you in my arms forever.” He said.

“I wish we could live together in Pittsburgh.” I said looking up at him.

“I know. I wish a lot of things were different in Pittsburgh.” He said.

“Like what?”

“I wish I had more time with you.” He said.

“I hate when you leave. Even if we aren’t together like physically in Pittsburgh, I love the fact of knowing that you are like twenty minutes away from me. I love thinking that I could drive to see you whenever I want. I hate knowing that you are so far away.” I said.

“That’s the only thing I hate about hockey. I hate that I can’t have both of you at the same time.” He said.

“Oh, babe.. you don’t hate anything about hockey.” I said playing with his hair.

“Maybe you are right. But, I do miss you way too much.” He said.

“This will be the first time we are starting out the year dating.” I said.

“Hopefully we make it a full year.” He said laughing.

“I’m pretty sure that’s up to you.” I said poking his chest.

“You act like I’m the only reason we ever break up! One word.. Simon.” He said.

“One mistake and you will never let me forget it!” I said laughing.

“Its cause I love your face when I make fun of you.” He said pulling me on top of you.

“Well, I love your face all the time!” I said giving him a kiss and tracing his jaw line with my finger.

“Right now, right here with you.. this is perfection.” He said in between kisses.

“ I can think of better things to do than talk.” I said putting my finger to his lips.

Comment please : )

Chapter Seventy-Five

“What are you doing?” Sidney asked when he came in from his morning workout. I was lying on the couch.

“Some light reading.” I said waving one of the letters.

“Oh come on.” He said coming over to me.

“You have my journals.. I have your letters. It seems pretty even now.” I said.

“Fine. I’m going to go fishing.” He said.

“Have fun with my letters.” He said laughing.

“Have fun alone.” I said back laughing.

About two hours later he came back in.

“You are still reading..” He said.

“No, I am done.” I said.

“Finally.” He said.

“Shut up! You have like 25 of my journals. You know everything about me. Those journals were never meant for anyone to read them. Atleast you censored yourself a little in these letters.” I said.

“True. But I love reading those journals. When I go on the road, I always take a journal with me. So, when I miss you I just read them. I took them to the Bahamas with me. I take them everywhere. They are a little piece of you.” He said.

“That was sweet babe.” I said reaching up and kissing him.

“Want to hear my favorite?” I asked.

“Not really, but sure.” He said giving in.

Joey,

Its been a week since you chose Simon. Only a week, isn’t that crazy? It seems like forever ago. Everyday I find myself not wanting to get out of bed because you aren’t here. The only reason I get up is because I have that slight hope that today will be the day. Today will be the day that things go back to normal. Today, you won’t choose Simon. Today, you will choose me. I know it won’t happen. I know that Simon can give you something you obviously couldn’t get from me. I know that timing was never our strong suit. I know that love can’t always conquer all. I love you Joey Smith. I love you with all my heart but I know that you are with Simon. I know that I’m not the man you hoped I would become. Somewhere along the way, I lost that person. But, I know without you I can never be him. Without you I will never be the best version of myself. I need you because without you, my best isn’t enough.

I try and live my life without regrets. You know, why waste your time regretting something. It is in the past and I know that. But if I regret anything in this past year, it’s not fighting for you. I should have fought for you more than I did. I should have told you that I loved you. I should have told you that I needed you. I should have told you that you are the best part of me. I should have told you that I would be nothing without you. I should have told you that everything means nothing if you aren’t by my side. I should have said these things. I should have fought for you and I am sorry. I am sorry because I let you down. I let you question my love. And now, you are with Simon. I am sure he doesn’t let you question what you mean to him. I think about you everyday. Probably more than I should. Actually, it might be creepy but I think about you all the time. What you are doing and how things are? I can’t be without you, but I know right now that I have too. Just know that I love you and from now on.. I will fight for you. Because if I don’t, my life isn’t worth anything. All I have without you is hockey and its just not as fun if you aren’t around.

So, I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry for making you doubt things about me. I’m sorry for not fighting. I’m sorry for not making love conquer all.

Love Always,

Sidney.

“Its embarrassing for you to read them because I never was going to send them to you.” He said.

“What?”

“They are like my journals. I needed to write these things because it was what I was feeling. But, I couldn’t send them to you because you would think I was crazy. Plus, at the time I wanted to talk to you but I didn’t.” He said.

“Well I like the fact that you still thought about me even when I thought you hated me. I like the fact that I’m never far from your mind.” I said.

“Now that you read your favorite letter, I get to read my favorite journal entry.” He said and ran upstairs.

“Sidney, you are such a liar! You just pick random entries and say they are your favorite. You supposedly already read me one of your favorites.” I said laughing.

“Oh Shut up, just listen.”

When Cara died, it changed everything. She was the one girl who related to me. She was the girl who knew everything about me and liked me just the same. She was the one person I would die for and be okay with. She was my best friend. She was the best person I know. I guess, I should saw knew. Cara died and a little part inside of me died with her. That part that let people in. The part that let people so close to me that they could actually hurt me.

Today, today changed everything. Today I gave Sidney all of my journals. Well obviously, not the one I am writing in right now. But, he will read this eventually.. maybe.. unless he fucks up again. I don’t think he will. Actually, in my heart I know he won’t. but, anyways.. today I gave them to him. It was a big deal because now he knows everything. He knows every little thing I ever thought. Today I let Sidney in. I let the part of me that only Cara knew be alive again. Its weird to trust someone that much. I kind of forgot what it felt like. I trust him. I trust Sidney with my life. I trust him with my heart, which is crazy. I remember writing when I was a freshman or something that I never thought I would find someone. I never thought I would find that person that loved me for me. I never thought I would find my perfect man, my soul mate. I never thought any of these things would happen. I know people say everyone has that one person out there that was made for them. I didn’t think it was in my cards. I didn’t think I deserved that person. Sidney just walked into my life and made me believe I deserved love. He made me think that I was worthy, and I love him for that. Sidney is my soul mate and I know that. Sidney is my somebody. Sidney is my person. He gives me purpose, when I feel I have none. Without him, my soul would be empty, my heart broken, my being incomplete. I thank God everyday that he was brought into my life. And I feel like I should thank Sidney everyday for loving me.

The other day Jocelyn asked me what a soul mate was. I almost told her that a soul mate was what Sidney was to me. Because he is my soul mate. Sidney is my best friend and my soul mate. He is the love of my life. Instead, I quoted Dawson Leery. I guess that’s why there are TV shows, because they can articulate what we cannot. But, Sidney is my soul mate in every sense of the word. Sidney is exactly what Dawson described when he said, “It's a.. Well, it's like a best friend, but more. It's the one person in the world that knows you better than anyone else. It's someone who makes you a better person, well, actually they don't make you a better person... you do that yourself-- because they inspire you. A soulmate is someone who you carry with you forever. It's the one person who knew you, and accepted you, and believed in you before anyone else did or when no one else would. And no matter what happens.. you'll always love them.” Jocelyn looked at me and asked me if I believed in soul mates. I of course said I did. She didn’t ask me if I had one, she simply said. Oh so its like what Sidney is to you. And all I could say was exactly.

“I love that. I could read it everyday.” He said.

“We are such nerds.” I said laughing.

“Yeah, but I kind of like it.” He said and kissed me.

Chapter Seventy-Four

In all the times I have thought about the first time I made love with Sidney, it never crossed my mind it would happen after the worst fight we ever had. It also never crossed my mind that it would take place in his childhood bedroom. But, that’s what happened.

“I love you so much, Joey.” He said kissing my neck.

“Is the door locked?” I asked him. As soon as I did, he got up and locked the door. Then we continued where we left out. He started to kiss my neck again. He made his way down to my collar bone, and pulled off my shirt. I then pulled his shirt off. I wasn’t even thinking, nothing was running through my mind except how much I loved him. His kisses made his way down to my stomach, and then he unbuttoned my pants. And then.. he paused.

“Are you sure?” He asked. I just nodded my head.

It felt so good to be with him in that way. It felt so right to be one with him. Everything just felt right. It was like you know when they tell you the easiest answer you will ever give is saying yes to marriage, it was like that. It just felt so natural to be with him, because I knew how he felt about me. I knew that I loved him and I knew that he loved me just as much. I couldn’t believe it actually happened in his old bedroom, but you know. Nothing is perfect. After it happened, we kind of just laid there together. When we got back to reality, we realized his parents were probably wondering where we were.

“I can’t believe that just happened.” I said when we got into the car.

“Yeah, me either.” He said still in shock.

“No, I mean. I can believe it happened. But, in your parents house?” I asked.

“Don’t look at me! Its not like I planned it!” He said.

“Seriously, would you have thought when I left this morning, this would happen?” I asked.

“No, I thought we were going to break up!” He said. I just looked at him.

“You are a jerk!” I said hitting him.

“What? You hated me last night.” He said.

“Yeah, and I should have hated you! So since we had sex, can your next dog’s name be Joey?” I asked and he just gave me this look.

“Too soon to make jokes?” I asked laughing.

“Just a little.” He said.

“Is what happened before.. is that going to change things?” I asked him when we were laying on the couch together.

“Its not going to be like before.” He said pulling me closer to him.

“I know you are worried, and I know that’s why it took so long. I know everything that has happened to you before, Joey. I don’t want to add to that.” He said.

“I never thought you would. I love what we have, I don’t want it to turn into all about sex.” I said.

“It won’t. Me and you, that will never just be about sex. Its so so much more. I know I have been immature before. I know I have made you doubt that, but its different this time. I swear to you.” He said.

“I wish it was always like this. Just us, together.” I said.

“It will be.”

“I hope.”

“Why don’t you trust me?”

“I do trust you.”

“No you don’t. Sometimes half the battle is just believing things will work out, Joey.”

“I believe they will, I want them too. I love you and I know that that’s true.”

“You still are waiting for me to hurt you.” He said.

“That’s not true. You know its not true. I just I love this. I love just laying here with you. I love being in Canada with you. I love just being with you.” I said.

“Me too, and that won’t ever change. That’s why I know we will work.” He said.

“I know. Its just different here. You know, we have so many outside influences when we go back to Pittsburgh. Its not just me and you.”

“We just have to work harder for it to be just you and me.” He said.

“I believe in my heart that you are my future.” I said.

“Then don’t question it, Jo. Just follow your heart.” He said.

“I’m sorry that I over think everything.” I said.

“I love that you overanalyze everything. It use to scare me. It use to scare the hell out of me, but now its just one of the things I love.” He said kissing me.

“Can we go out tomorrow night?” I asked.

“Yeah?”

“I haven’t really seen Halifax much. I just want to see everything before I go back.” I said.

“Babe, you aren’t going back for like 3 weeks.” He said.

“I know, I have to decide if I’m going to report to practice.” I said.

“Have you thought about what I said before?” He asked.

“No. You paying for school is not an option.” I said.

“I don’t get why. I have the money.”

“I’m not saying you don’t have the money. But its your money. Not my money.”

“I don’t get why you will not let me help you. There have been so many times in your life that I couldn’t help you, but now I can. I am here, let me help.” He said.

“Sidney..” I said. “Look at me. The thing with Colin was a very long time ago. We didn’t know each other, there was nothing you could have done for me. Even if you were around, you wouldn’t have been able to stop it.” I said.

“What?”

“Your mom told me that you called her once you found out about it.” I said.

“Joey, of course I was upset. You were hurting and I couldn’t help you.”

“But you didn’t know me.” I said.

“That doesn’t mean that the thought of you hurting doesn’t hurt me too.” He said.

“and I loved that letter I read.”

“what letter?”

“It was the last letter you wrote. I only read one. I still can’t believe you wrote all those letters and never sent them.”

“I wrote them because it was the only way we could talk, I told you that. I never stopped loving you, Joey. You chose Simon, that didn’t mean I stopped choosing you.” He said.

“Its funny because when I look back, it seems like there have been so many downs to our relationship.. Simon, Brittany.. Jeremiah, Connor.. but when I think about you, I always just think of the ups. I can’t remember not loving you.. not even for one day.” I said.

“Joey, I really do believe I’m going to spend the rest of my life with you.” He said.

“I love how you are so sure.”

“I’m so sure, because when I think about what I want in life, I know that if I just had you, I would be completely content for the rest of my life.”

“You are way too good for me.” I said kissing him.

“I think it may be the other way around.” He said smiling and then continuing to kiss me.

Faith in Fate

Please check out my new story. I know I said it before, but I have so many loyal readers from this one that comment so much, I just hope you give the other story a chance. faithinfate-dukelove411.blogspot.com
Thanks :)
God Bless <3
and is it hockey season yet?

Chapter Seventy-Three

I couldn’t sleep. I always slept better when I was with Sidney. I didn’t know if I was restless because I was sleeping away from Sidney, or it was because of the fight. I knew I had overreacted. Looking back, I knew I had, that seemed obvious. I know that he loves me and I know he won’t cheat on me with Sam. Its just, I don’t get why he didn’t tell me. Sidney is my world; I love him more than I probably should. I don’t like to feel threatened, and I guess that’s how I felt. It didn’t matter that I knew he wouldn’t do anything. It didn’t matter that I knew he loved me. It didn’t matter that I knew we were meant to be, none of that seemed to matter to me. All I could think of is Sam had something of Sidney, I had yet to have.

After two hours of not being able to sleep, I couldn’t take it anymore. I crawled out of the guest bed and walked down the hall to the master bedroom. Sidney seemed to be sleeping, but once he felt be get into bed with him, he opened his eyes.

“I can’t sleep without you.” I whispered.

“Are we okay?” He asked.

“We will talk about it tomorrow.” I said.

“I love you.” He whispered.

“I know.” And he kissed me on the forehead.

“Hey, is it okay if I go talk to your mom?” I asked him in the morning.

“Are you still mad?” He asked.

“I’m not mad. I’m just confused. I just need time to think.” I said.

“So you would rather talk to my mom than me?” He asked kind of hurt.

“Its not like that, Sidney. I do love you. And yeah, I probably overreacted last night and yesterday, but I was mad. I was hurt. I just.. I don’t like thinking about the girls you have been with. Its hard for me to know that you have been with people that I don’t even know about. You know every boy I have ever even had a crush on.”

“I do love you, Joey.”

“I love you too. Everything will be fine. I just need to think.” I said.

“well, me, dad, and Taylor are going to go do some hockey stuff. I can drop you off when I pick them up.”

“Are you mad at me?” I asked him.

“I love you, and yeah I was mad at you for overreacting. But, I love you so I can’t stay mad long.” He said.

“I don’t know whats wrong with me.” I said.

“Nothing is wrong with you.”He said.

“I just blew up over something not even that big. I just.. I don’t know. Today will help.” I said. I got dressed and then we went to his parent’s house.

“Tea?” Trina asked once they left. I just nodded my head.

“I’m sorry about last night.” I said when she brought me my tea.

“Did you two talk?” She asked me.

“It was my fault. I shouldn’t have freaked out. Its just scary. Its scary knowing there are so many girls that want to be with him. Its scary that he has been with girls that I don’t even know about..” I said.

“Joey, he doesn’t care who wants to be with him. He just wants to be with you.”

“he does right now, but what happens in three months? What happens when we get into a fight and he goes out with his friends? I want to trust him, and normally I do. But, sometimes I think about everything that has happened between us and I don’t know.” I said.

“You have always had his heart, Joey. I remember the phone call after he met you.”

“really?”

“Yeah, he said he met this girl today. It took him by surprise. You were rude to him. I knew that day that he met his match.”

“That was so long ago.”

“Joey, I also remember the call when you kissed for the first time.”

“What did he say?”

“He said it was nothing like he had ever felt before. But there are two calls that probably stick out most in my mind.”

“What are they?”

“The one he called me right after he found out about Colin.”

“You know about what happened with Colin?” I asked mortified.

“Yeah. Sidney called right after he found out, he was so so terrified. He couldn’t believe that someone would ever want to hurt you. He was so upset that he couldn’t protect you from that.”

“He didn’t even know me back then.”

“That’s what kills him. He didn’t know you and you were in so much pain. When you are in pain, can’t you see he is too? Joey, I have never seen my son care about anyone as much as he cares about you. It tears him apart to hurt you. It kills him to know that you had a life before him.”

“Its weird to think he has this life I don’t know about. Its weird, because I feel like I have known him forever. That’s what hurt so bad about Sam. It just made me realize that there 18 years of life before I ever even saw Sidney. 18 years, that’s such a long time. I forget.. I forget that there was a time when Sidney and I knew nothing about each other.” I said.

“You think that’s the only reason you were upset?” Trina asked.

“I was upset because it made me question his love for me, and I know its silly. I know that he loves me, but I can’t imagine loving someone else. I don’t even know if I ever did. It kills me to think that Sidney and I may not be together forever. I didn’t even believe in marriage until I met Sidney. I thought it was crazy to think about spending forever with one person. I thought it was insane to give of yourself so unselfishly. Sidney changed everything.”

“You are the only the person that doubts your love for each other. Everyone can see it. My son loves you and would give the world to be with you, and I know you feel the same. You just have to have some faith and belief in my son.” Trina said.

“I know. What was the other phone call you remember so well?”

“He called me after he broke up with Brittany. He was in tears saying he didn’t think you would ever forgive him. He didn’t think he deserved to be with you. He thought he blew his chance. That’s when I knew my son was ready for you. He realized that losing you was much more important than anything else. Realizing it was possible to lose you, made him realize that it couldn’t be a possibility, because without you his life didn’t make sense.”

“Thanks, Trina.” I said.

“Here, I want to show you something.” She said and got up. She was walking towards Sidney’s room. She got in his closet and brought down a box. I didn’t know what this was all about. I sat on Sidney’s bed and she placed the box between the two of us. She opened the lid, and it looked like a whole bunch of letters. I picked a letter up. It was addressed to me, but never sent. I picked up another, same thing.

“I don’t understand.” I said looking at Trina.

“Last year, Sidney loved you. If you doubt that, read these.” She said.

“Sidney and I didn’t talk for months last year. He hated me after leaving here last summer.”

“Sidney wrote these letters to you. He wrote one everyday since the day you left last summer. He wrote them until November, I think.”

“Why didn’t he ever send them?”

“I thought he was going too. I actually thought he did, until he brought a box full of them home for Christmas.”

“Why are you showing me these?” I asked.

“I know its hard having him has a boyfriend, with the fans and media. I can understand why you are jealous or insecure sometimes. But, you don’t have to be. These letters prove that. Even when you thought he hated you, he loved you and you were in his heart. You will always be in his heart, and the sooner you realize it, the better your relationship will be.” Trina said getting up and leaving. I just laid there on his bed in his old room. I picked up a letter, it was the last one.

Joey,

It seems like its been forever since we last talked. You keep calling and every time I think about picking up. I actually start dialing you number sometimes. I miss you, but I don’t know how to tell you that. I don’t know how to tell you everything that I am feeling. I love you and I don’t know why you chose someone over me. I don’t know why things happen sometimes. I don’t know why love can’t conquer all. If it could, we would be together right now, because I love you more than I should. I love you despite everything that has happened, and the beauty is I know you love me too. We just can’t seem to get things right. I know that you are scared because I am your best friend. I know its scary having the two most important people in your life, best friend and boyfriend, being the same person. I know its scary, but its also scary not having either one of those. I miss you as my best friend and as my girlfriend. I miss the stupid things we use to do. I miss watching you eat ice cream even when I couldn’t because I was training. I miss watching the same movie over and over again. I miss hearing you completely crush on Leonardo Dicaprio. I miss your voice. I miss everything about you, and I can’t wait until things can be okay again. I know that things are far from being okay. I know that things are really screwed up right now. But, I look forward to the day where you and I are best friends again. I will never stop loving you, because you are the best part of me. Nothing seems right without you. Be with whomever you need to be with right now. Whether its that Simon kid, or someone you haven’t met yet. I want you to be happy, but I will be here waiting. Waiting for you to realize that I am the one you want and the one you need. My love for you will never waive.

All my Love,

Sidney.

After I read it, I felt tears stroll down my eyes. I was just lying in his bed staring at the walls he must have stared at so many times before. Being there, just made me feel closer to him. It didn’t matter to me who he loved before me, as long as I was the one he loved now. As long as I was the one he wanted to be with. I wasn’t sure how long I was lying there when Sidney sat on the bed and put his hand on my shoulder.

“I see my mom showed you the letters.” Sidney said.

“Why didn’t you ever send them to me?” I asked.

“I knew that I needed to be something different for you. I knew that you needed me to be different. Writing to you made it feel like we were still talking..” He said.

“I’m so sorry, Sidney. I just get scared sometimes.” I said with tears forming in my eyes.

“Scared of what?”

“I’m scared that you are going to realize that you could do so much better than me. I’m scared that this isn’t going to work and that my heart will be broken into a million different pieces. I just don’t want to lose you and I don’t think I could bear it.”

“No one is better than you, baby. I love you and if it doesn’t work out my heart will be broken into a million different pieces as well. I love you and I’m sorry about the Sam thing. I should have told you, but you comparing yourself to her is just crazy.”

“Its not.”

“It is. My love for you is not comparable to how I have ever felt before. I didn’t even know what love was before I met you. You are my soul mate, no one can touch that.” He said kissing me.

“Your mine too.” I said smiling.

Chapter Seventy-Two

“Jo, you can come down.. she is gone.” He said yelling up the stairs sounding kind of annoyed.

“How was your little get together?” I asked walking out to the deck.

“Fine.. I don’t get why you are being like this.” He said following me outside.

“Really? Don’t you think its kind of weird you never ever ever mentioned Sam, who is apparently your best friend?” I asked.

“I mentioned her before.”

“No, I’m pretty sure that you haven’t.. in 3 years I have never heard of any Sams besides your dog.” I simply said and he just kind of looked at me.

“So she is your best friend?” I asked.

“She was.. that was a long time ago.” He said.

“Did you date?” I asked. He just looked at me.

“Sidney! Did you date her?” I asked again.

“She was my first girlfriend.. she was my first a lot of things.” He said finally.

“Yeah, so I basically just replaced her.” I said.

“What?”

“She’s your Sidney.”

“What are you talking about, Jo?”

“You were my best friend, you were my first love. You were my first everything.” I said.

“Its not like that, Jo.”

“To me, it seems like it’s the exact same thing.” I said.

“Jo, I dated Sam for 6 months.”

“Yeah, but I don’t see you naming your dog after me.” I said.

“What?”

“Your dog. Her name is Sam, coincidence?! Like What the fuck, did you really need to name your dog after another girl!?” I said getting more and more angry.

“Joey..” He said taking a step towards me.

“Oh my God.” I said.

“What?” He said confused again.

“She was your first a lot of things.. you lost your virginity to her?” I asked. He just looks at me.

“What? You didn’t think I would figured it out? You are unbelievable, Sidney. You name your dog after the girl you fucked?! You named your dog after another girl, and I am not suppose to be mad about this?! You hide this from me for so long and then she just walks into your house like she does it all the time?! How am I suppose to feel about this, Sidney?! How?! Because right now, I’m feeling like I don’t know you. I’m feeling like I don’t like you, let alone love you.” I said and then walked back into the house.

We didn’t talk after that, but we still had to go to dinner at his parent’s house. We didn’t talk in the car and we didn’t even really look at eachother once we got there. I was trying to not let them realize something was wrong. I was trying to not care and let them know that I couldn’t even look at their son. I was trying to be mature, but it didn’t really last that long.

“Whats wrong with you two?” Trina asked after we were done eating.

“Why don’t you tell them, Sidney.” I said in a smart ass tone.

“Something major must be wrong, because you two haven’t said a word to each other nor have you looked at each other. So whats wrong?” Trina asked again.

“Lets just say I met the reason Sidney’s dog is named Sam.” I said.

“That’s not true, Joey.” Sidney finally spoke up.

“Whats not true? I did meet Sam today, the girl, not the dog.” I said.

“Your mad because you met Sam?” Troy asked.

“I’m mad because some random girl walked into the house today and talked to Sidney for two hours! I’m mad because I found out that she is his best friend? Funny, because I thought I was his best friend. I’m mad because I found out a lot more about Sam and Sidney’s relationship. I’m mad because he named a dog after someone he says meant something to him a long, long time ago, and it doesn’t compare to what me and him have. I’m mad because your son, isn’t who I thought he was.” I simply said and walked into the kitchen.

“Joey.” Trina said coming into the kitchen.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want everything to come out here. I just don’t understand how he can’t understand why I would be upset? I mean he named a dog after her!” I said.

“You don’t know that’s why he named Sam that.” Trina said trying to be the voice of reason.

“Well than it’s a huge coincidence. But, why wouldn’t he ever mention her to me? Why keep it a secret? He knows everything about me, and I’m realizing I know nothing about him.” I said.

“You know whats important. You know whats in his heart.” She said and with that she left the kitchen. Soon after Sidney and I left the house again. When he got into the house, the fight just continued.

“I can’t believe you would bring my parents into this!” Sidney said almost as soon as we got in the door.

“I can’t believe that you are such an ass!” I yelled back.

“Oh yeah, I’m an ass?! I’m an ass?! I’m not the one that has multiple people in love with them!” He said.

“What are you talking about?!”

“Connor, Avery.. Colin, Simon.. should I continue?!” He said.

“First of all, that has nothing to do with anything. Second, they aren’t inlove with me! Simon has a girlfriend! Third, multiple people in love with me? Try you have thousands of girls in love with you! HELLO! YOU ARE SIDNEY FUCKIN CROSBY!” I yelled.

“Wait, so now I should apologize because people know who I am?” He asked.

“No, you should apologize because you still love Sam!” I said.

“Wait, I should probably clarify that.. You love Sam, the girl! Because you know there are two of them in your lives, the dog and the girl.” I said.

“Let it go, Jo. She is nothing.”

“A no one wouldn’t just walk into your house. A no one wouldn’t spend two hours talking to you! A no one wouldn’t matter. A no one wouldn’t be your dog’s name sake!” I yelled.

“Listen. Sam grew up here. I have known her forever. We dated when I was 16. It was right before I left for Juniors. We dated and I went to Juniors. Then after Juniors, I went to Pittsburgh and I met you. She left to go to school in Toronto when I left for Pittsburgh. We hardly even talk!”

“You loved her once, which means you will love her forever.” I simply state.

“Loving someone and being in love with someone are two very different things!”

“I can’t imagine naming a dog after another guy. And I really can’t imagine you not caring if I did so.” I said.

“Joey, I’m sorry. Okay, I’m sorry. I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“you can’t say anything. I don’t know you. How many Sams are out there? Who will you name your next dog after? I mean, really Sidney. You know every last detail about my life, and I know nothing about yours!” I said getting more sad than upset.

“I’m really sorry. Just let me fix it.” He said.

“You can’t fix it, Sidney. Everything is just not okay because you are sorry. Everything is just not okay because you want it to be.” I said.

“I love you.”

“Yeah, and sometimes love just isn’t enough.” I said walking up the stairs.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to sleep in the guest room tonight.” I said.

“Joey, don’t be silly. Sleep in my room, sleep with me.”

“I just need time to think.”

“We never go to sleep mad at each other.” He said.

“There is a first time for everything.” I said and then I disappeared upstairs.






Please check out my new story, Faith in Fate. Thanks so much <3

Hi all! this is my number one story, and I know that most of you read my other stories, but I am sorry to inform you that I will be wrapping up An Unexpected Reality, and I don't have many ideas for Fork in the Road, so that story will be put on hold. I do have ideas for another story, called Faith in Fate. Recent events in my life have made me think about alot things, and have made me question alot of things. This story will be nothing like any of my other stories, atleast in theory. So please check it out, and when I have a chapter posted I will let everyone know. Thanks for reading : )
God Bless <3

Chapter Seventy-One

“Babe, did you have fun tonight?” He asked when I came out of the bathroom ready for bed.

“Yeah, I really did.” I said.

“We even played a game..” He said so impressed with himself.

“Yeah, you were still annoying about it.” I said laughing.

“You know I don’t try to be that way.”

“Babe, I know..” I said. He looked so upset when I said that.

“I love having you here and with my family.” He said smiling.

“I love it too, baby.” I said and we kissed. And kissed. We were just making out in his bed, for who knows how long, until I pulled away. Because that’s what I do, I pull away.

“Sidney..” I whispered.

“I know.” He said.

“I’m sorry.” I said as he rolled over.

“Don’t be.”He said putting his arm around me and kissing my forehead.

“But I am.” I said then I just tried to go to sleep.

“Don’t be upset about last night.” He said when I woke up and kissed me.

“I’m not. I love you.” I said as he got up to get ready to go to the gym.

“Babe, I love you too. Even if you hate my competitiveness.” He said laughing.

“I think I might go to breakfast with your mom.” I said.

“Oh yeah, that sounds like a good idea.” He said.

I ended up just going over to Sidney’s parents house and eating there with Trina. Sidney dropped me off before he went to the gym. I guess Troy was going to the gym with him, and Taylor was at her friends house.

“So you guys are coming over here tonight for dinner?” Trina asked me after she brought me over some tea.

“Yeah. I can’t cook and either can Sidney. We make a really good team.” I said laughing.

“Oh its not a big deal.” Trina laughed.

“So are you liking it here?” She asked me.

“Yeah, we haven’t really had any major fights. I mean we have only been here for like 3 days, but I thought it would be worse. I mean not bad, but we usually have a break from eachother. We hang out but he goes to practice or I go to practice, then we see each other.”

“Oh yeah, how is soccer?” Trina asked.

“I don’t know what I want to do about it. That’s actually why Sidney and I had an argument.”

“About what exactly?”

“It’s a big deal that I have a scholarship because the academy was so expensive, so that’s a big reason why I play soccer, it didn’t use to be, but its starting to be. Sidney said that if I didn’t want to play, that he would pay.” I said and she just looked at me.

“Don’t worry, I would never let him do that.” I explained.

“Joey, he can do whatever he wants with his money. You are a very important part of his life, so if he wants to do that, he can do that.” She said so sincerely.

“I don’t want him to do that. What happens if this doesn’t work out and then he paid for my college? I don’t want that.”

“Do you really not think that this is going to work?”

“I want it to work. I want it to work with all my heart, but I’m scared. I’m scared that its not going too and I’m scared that I will be left without a best friend and without a boyfriend. I’m scared that he will break my heart into a million pieces and then won’t be there to pick them up again.”

“Does it bother you that he is in the media?” She asked me a little later in the conversation.

“No, it doesn’t bother me that he is a hockey player. But, I get scared sometimes. I get scared that people at school are going to find out and something bad is going to happen.”

“What do you mean?”

“I guess my biggest fear is that something is going to happen that Sidney won’t be able to fix.” I simply said.

“My son loves you, Joey. I can tell by the way he talks about you and the way he looks at you. You don’t have to be afraid of him. Let him love you.” She said.

When Trina dropped me back off at Sidney’s house, I was in for a surprise. I got back and Sidney wasn’t home yet. I went outside to just sit out on the deck to read, because it was a really nice day. Sidney must have gotten home at some point, but I didn’t hear him come in. I did hear someone come in. It was a girl. She just walked into the house, I was kind of confused. I mean what kind of person just walks into another person’s house? I was about to find out. I heard the front door close for some odd reason, so I went into the house to find this girl and Sidney hugging. When they heard me come in, they pulled away.

“Jo, this is Sam.” He said and I just looked at them both.

“Hi, Joey. Nice to meet you. I’m his best friend.” She said smiling. Best friend? Sam is his best friend? I don’t think I have ever even heard of this girl before, and she is walking into his house without knocking and claiming she is his best friend? I must have missed something.

“Oh.” I simply say and look at Sidney.

“She lives here. Well she use too, she goes to University now in Toronto. She just came back for a few weeks.” He explained.

“I see, I’m going to take the dog for a walk, and give you guys some time to talk.” I said leaving the room and getting Sam, the dog.

I was leaving them because I needed to get out of that house. I needed to clear my head. Sam is his best friend? Sam? And he named his dog after her? It has to be a coincidence. He wouldn’t name his dog after another girl.. right? I made sure to walk for a really long time, because I didn’t want to get back with her still there. I wanted to be able to talk to my boyfriend in private. Unfortunately, I came back after probably close to an hour and she was still there.

“Hey..” I said walking out on the deck.

“Hey, Jo. How was the walk?” Sidney asked.

“It was good. Could I talk to you for a second?” I asked still standing in the doorway to the house.

“Sure.” He said and got up.

“Sidney, we need to talk. Like seriously, talk. So I’m going to go upstairs and shower, and I hope that she isn’t still here when I get out, because we need to talk.” I said.

“Okay?” He said confused.

“Whats wrong?” Sidney asked then.

“We need to talk, that’s it.” I said and turned around to go upstairs to shower. I figured the shower would calm me down, and I could let out a good cry without anyone knowing.

Chapter Seventy

“Sam!” Sidney said walking into his parents house and seeing his dog for the first time in months. She ran into his arms and it could have been the cutest thing ever. I bent down to pet her as well.

“So, Jo. This is home.” He said smiling.

“It looks like my old house.” I simply said.

“You had an old house?” He asked.

“Yeah.. when Jocelyn was born, we moved to our real house because it wasn’t big enough.” I explained.

“Oh, didn’t know that.”

“Now you do.” I said.

“Come on, I want to give you the tour.” He said walking down a hall.

“This is my room.” He said walking into a room. I had to admit it was weird being in it. This was his room. His room before everything happened. It was his room before life happened, before being Sidney Crosby was a job. It was him, before I knew him. It was kind of overwhelming. I just walked around taking everything in.

“What?” He asked confused looking at me.

“Its just crazy.” I said continuing to look at stuff.

“Come on, I’ll show you Tay’s room.” He said and led me to the next bedroom. There were a lot of pictures of her and him. And of him playing hockey and her playing hockey. There was also a picture of her and the Lemieux kids.

“This is the room everything is in.” He said walking to the basement and showing me all the awards. All his awards and jerseys and old sticks and everything were done here.

“Wow, this is how I pictured your room to look like.” I said kind of laughing.

“Its like your own personal shrine to yourself.” I said laughing again.

“That’s not how it is. Its just my stuff.” He said.

“I know, and its important to have.” I said. I didn’t mean it to sound the way it must have.

“This is my dryer.” He said.

“The infamous dryer.” I said laughing.

“Yeah.. crazy that people know about it.”He said looking a little uncomfortable.

“I love this bed.” I said waking up in the morning watching Sidney get dressed.

“Good, since you will be sleeping in it for a few weeks.” He said smiling and grabbing a shirt.

“Yeah.. so when will you be back?” I asked.

“A few hours. You can do whatever you want. Walk around the property, go to the dock, play with Sam. Check out my movie collection.” He said listing all these possibilities.

“I think I can handle it, babe.” I said rolling up to sit up.

“Hey what are we doing tonight?” I asked.

“Nothing as of now.” He said.

“I was thinking we could have a games night.” I said.

“Are you sure?”

“Well I figured if Taylor or your parents played with us, it would be better because maybe then we wouldn’t fight, and you would fight with one of them.” I said smiling.

“I’ll tell them to come over tonight. We can eat dinner tonight and then play.” He said.

“You do know that I don’t cook very well.” I said a little confused about the dinner situation.

“My mom will cook. She cooks here all the time, obviously.” He said.

“okay, sounds good.”

“I’ll be back in a little. Love you.” He said walking over to the bed and kissing me.

“Love you too.” I replied.

“Hey babe, how was your workout?” I asked walking into the kitchen.

“Good, what did you do?” He asked.

“I took Sam for a walk, and then I was reading on the dock.” I said.

“Well, I’m going to shower.” He said walking out of the kitchen and heading for the stairs.

“I think its so weird how you shower twice. Once like at the locker room and then once when you get home.”I said laughing.

“Its just one of my awesome quirks.” He said.

“Hey, do you want to go to lunch in a little?” He asked.

“Yeah.. and I’m serious about games night!” I yelled to him as he was walking up the stairs.

“I know. We can stop and see Mom on the way home from lunch.” He said.

“Okay..” I said and went to lay on the couch.

“So did you ever play hockey?” Taylor asked me during dinner. Mrs. Crosby cooked grilled chicken, red potatoes, and green beans. It was really good. It was funny because she cooked in Sidney’s kitchen, like it was nothing. I guess she does that quite often.

“Yeah, I played soccer and hockey until 8^th grade.” I said.

“Why did you quit?” Troy asked me.

“20 questions.” Sidney said and I laughed.

“Hockey was always Jake, my twin brother’s, thing. I didn’t want to always be connected to him, I wanted to be my own person, so I quit. Plus, my school didn’t have a hockey team.” I said.

“Where did you go?” Trina asked.

“I went to Sewickley Academy, but my brother went to Quaker Valley.” I answered.

“You went to two different schools?” Taylor asked.

“Yeah, its kind of weird, but I wanted to go to the academy. We both went to St. James school until we finished 8^th grade and then we had to pick where we wanted to go. I picked Sewickley Academy to play soccer, and Jake picked Quaker Valley.”

“What position did you play?” Taylor asked.

“I played defense. Jake played offense.” I explained.

“So you play defense in soccer too?” Trina asked.

“No, its weird. I am a striker on the soccer team.” I explained.

“So where do your siblings go to school?” Trina asked. I seriously felt like I have never had dinner with them in my whole life, it was weird.

“Jason and Jordan, who are almost 6 go to St. James. Jocelyn and Jaydyn go to Quaker Valley. And of course, Jake plays hockey at RMU.” I explained.

“Wow, you do have a big family.” Taylor said.

“yeah, so Taylor do you think you will go to university in the states?” I asked.

“Maybe, what do you go for?” She asked me.

“I’m going to be a Secondary Ed, science teacher.” I explained.

“Did you always want to be that?” Sidney finally spoke.

“No, I thought I told you that after everything that happened in 10^th grade I thought about being a doctor. But, I didn’t think I wanted that lifestyle. I thought I wanted kids more than I wanted to be a doctor.” I explained.

“What happened in 10^th grade?” Taylor asked.

“Taylor, don’t be nosy.” Trina said.

“No, its okay. When I was in 10^th grade, my best friend, Cara, died. She left right after 8^th grade and moved to Minnesota because her dad got a job. She died in a car accident.” I explained and then Sidney continued because he saw that I was getting upset.

“Cara and Jo were still really close when it happened. Joey didn’t really ever mesh that well with anyone at Sewickley besides, Connor, I think you met him before mom. But Cara left after 8^th grade which changed everything..”He started to explain than I continued.

“But, we still talked all the time. She came for visits a lot, she was my best friend. She still would be, but she died in a car accident. I remember getting the phone call. She died on November 4, I went to the funeral and then it felt like as soon as I came back my grandma died.”

“Did she live in Sewickley?” Trina asked.

“She lived in Fox Chapel, in Pittsburgh. She was sick for awhile, but I didn’t expect her to die. She died November 20. It was the worst year of my life. After that, I wanted to be a doctor.” I explained.

“Wow, I’m sorry.” Troy said.

“It was a long time ago.. I don’t really think about it that much.” I said looking at Sidney.

“When did you decide that you didn’t want to be a doctor?” Taylor asked.

“I want a big family, but I want to be a close family. I know what its like to have a big family and kind of get lost in the shuffle. I figured if I was a doctor, it would be harder to make my family my first priority. I figured that out when I was a senior.” I said.

“Sid wants a big family too.” Taylor said.

“Jo wants 6 kids.” Sidney said.

“6 kids? That’s a lot.” Troy simply said.

“Yeah, well that’s how many people are in my family. I think I would space them out better or something. I’m not really sure. I just know I will learn from my family’s mistakes. Plus, I would love to adopt kids.”

“From where?” Taylor asked.

“Africa..maybe a European country like Russia or Ukraine.” I explained.

“What do you think about that?” Tay asked Sid.

“Whatever Joey wants.” He said like a good boyfriend.

“Not for a really long time.” I said reassuring Trina and Troy.

“Try not to cry this time.” Sidney said after we all sat down in the living room and got out the game Monopoly.

“Shut up!” I said looking at him.

“The first time, Jo and I played Monopoly she cried.” Sidney explained.

“Yeah, it happened when I was 16 and he will not let up on it!” I said.

“Why did you cry?” Trina asked.

“Because it was Sidney, Jake, Jake’s girlfriend, and me.. and I didn’t want to play at all. I wanted to watch a movie but they made me play and then they were like being mean to me because I was losing.” I said.

“We weren’t being mean.” He said.

“You were. We have only played Monopoly like twice since. We actually never play anything against eachother.” I explained.

“Yeah, Sidney told us about the golfing thing.” Troy said.

“He just gets so competitive, and I mean so do I. We can’t play video games because the one time we were and I started winning he got up and left my house!” I explained.

“She was hoping if there was more of us, I would get competitive with someone other than her.” Sidney said.

“I don’t like playing games with him either.” Trina said.

“Its just frustrating. I mean I love him to death, but he takes everything so seriously. I love to play games and go mini golfing and stuff, but its not worth it when I know it will lead to a fight.” I explained.

“We always just use to hope that he would win, or it would be the longest day ever.” Trina said.

“Good job, Mr. Crosby.” I said after the game. Mr. Crosby won. It was awesome.

“Oh yeah, great job dad.” Sidney said.

“Don’t be a sore loser.” Taylor said.

“Sidney.. just a game, lets remember that.” I said.

“I’m just glad I didn’t beat him, because it could have been a long night.” I said to Trina.

“I know. Its best when its between Sidney and Troy, because they get over it so easily.” Trina explained to me while we went into the kitchen.

“It is frustrating. I want to play games with him, but he just takes everything so seriously.” I said.

“I know, you just have to not care. If you don’t care, then he doesn’t get anything out of beating you.” She told me.

“ I just wish we weren’t both so competitive.” I said.

“You two are so perfect for each other, though.” Trina said.

“Thanks.. I hope it works out this time.” I whispered.

“I think it will, honey.”

“Really?” I said a little unsure.

“It seems different this time. I think he is ready for you.” She said.

“He wasn’t before?” I asked.

“In some ways, I think he was. I just think you scared him, but I think he is ready to be the person you need him to be.”

“I don’t want him to change or anything like that. I love him, but honestly I think if it doesn’t work this time.. I don’t think I am going to try anymore.” I explained.

“You just always have to believe that things will work out. If its meant to be it will be, and I think its safe to say you two are meant to be.” She said.

“I hope so.” I said looking out into the living room and watching Sidney interacting with Taylor and Troy.

“I really do love him, more than I ever thought was possible.” I whispered, not even sure if Trina could hear me.

Chapter Sixty-Nine

“Oh my god, I can’t believe we are here right now.” I said as soon as I walked into Sidney’s house. I had been there once before. Last summer, I came for a few days right before we broke up and that whole Simon thing went down. This time, I would be spending over a month with him in his comfort zone and I was so incredibly excited. I couldn’t wait to just chill and watch him fish and see him interacting with his family. I had never even met his whole family, which thinking back on it is crazy. I never met his grandmas. They had come to Pittsburgh this past season, but we never got together for some reason. For some reason, I think I had a huge test or something. Oh well, none of that mattered now. I would be here with him. Just he and I hanging out like a normal couple. I couldn’t even explain how excited I was.

“Well, believe it.” He said setting down all our bags. At that moment he grabbed me from behind and gave me this huge hug in his foyer.

“I still can’t, Sid. I can’t wait to see Sam.” I said thinking about his dog, who I loved.

“I can’t wait to show you everything. You have never even seen my parent’s house before.” He said walking towards the living room.

“I know.. it seems so weird. I mean you do live in like Antarctica.” I said exaggerating.

“Oh gosh, that’s right! That’s why its so cold here!” He said mocking me.

“I hate you!” I said laughing.

“Wow, that really sucks then for you.. I mean since you are stranded in Antarctica with me!” He said.

“Stop it!” I said.

“You know I love you.” He said walking towards me.

“Come on, lets walk down to the dock.” He said grabbing my hand and leading me out the back door.

“I can’t believe we are here right now.” I said sitting and dangling my feet above the lake.

“I always knew I would ask you to come up this summer.” He said.

“What? Since when did you know that?”

“I wanted to have you spend the summer last year, but it didn’t seem that it would happen because we were so up in the air. But this year.. it was different.”

“This year is very different than before.” I cut him off by saying.

“I know, and I knew leaving you would be so hard, but I figured I owed it to the both of us to figure out if it would work this time. Basically by the time I got back to Canada, I already missed you.”

“Then I was a bitch about following you.. I’m so stupid.” I said.

“I just can’t wait to do this all summer long.” He said just taking in the fresh air.

“You do know that I don’t fish.” I said.

“Oh you will.. give it time.” He said laughing.

“When do you train?” I asked.

“Usually in the mornings. I will wake up and have a small breakfast, then head to the gym and meet my trainer. Then maybe in the afternoons or evenings play another sport, like golf or tennis.” He said.

“too bad you are so competitive or I would play with you.” I said laughing.

“we should work on that. I mean we don’t even ever play board games with eachother.” He said.

“I know, its kind of pathetic.”

“We will work on that this summer.” He said standing up and I followed him.

“So how is the knee?” He said sitting on his couch.

“Oh you know.” I said plopping down beside him and putting my legs on top of him.

“No, I don’t really.” He said kind of letting out a little laugh.

“Its not worse, but it doesn’t really feel like it getting any better.” I explained.

“Did you tell anyone that?” He asked.

“I don’t know what to say or who to tell. I mean I run and I work out with the trainers, or atleast I did. I play soccer with Jake atleast once a week, and I work out everyday, but I don’t know how to make it better.”

“I just ask because you haven’t talked about soccer in a long time.”

“I don’t know whats going to happen this year.” I simply said.

“What do you mean? Don’t you want to play?” He asked me with a confused look.

“Soccer isn’t what it use to be for me.”

“What do you mean?” He asked again.

“Soccer use to be that one way I felt good enough. It was when my dad looked at me the way he looked at Jake during his hockey games. It was when people would forget about my grades or what happened with Colin, or my brother, or even that I knew you. It was like when I got out on that field, nothing mattered.”

“Its not that way anymore?”

“I don’t know. When I think of soccer, I don’t think of Academy soccer, I think of RMU soccer, and RMU soccer meant me and you fighting. RMU soccer means Simon, and I mean Simon is one of my best friends, but Simon meant no you.”

“But that’s not the case anymore.”

“I know. I know that you are here, and we are stronger this time around. Its just I wish I could decide if soccer was what I wanted to make my college life around without thinking about money.”

“I don’t get what money has to do with it.”

“No soccer, no scholarship.” I simply said.

“Jo.. if you don’t want to play soccer, don’t play. If you don’t want to play, I will pay for school.” He said so seriously.

“Don’t be stupid, Sidney.”

“I’m not. I’m serious. I have all this money, and I know its my money and not your money.. but if I can help, let me help.”

“You are not paying for my college, that’s just ridiculous.”

“no what is ridiculous is that you will devote so much time to something you don’t love anymore, just because of money, when I have more money than I know what to do with.” He said.

“But its your money.”

“But you are apart of my life.” He said.

“Yeah, I am and I hope to always be. But, my education is not your burden.”

“But your happiness is. I want you to be happy and if its playing soccer, great. If its playing Frisbee, great. I don’t care what brings you happiness, as long as its there. Don’t let money change that, when it doesn’t have too.”

“My parents would never let you pay for it, and neither would I. I will probably just get redshirted this season anyways.”

“Just think about it, Jo. The money is yours if you want it.” He said.

“Thanks, babe. But you know how money talk gets me..” I said.

“I know, which is probably why you didn’t bring it up sooner.”

“I know that you want to fix things. You always have wanted to make everything in my life better, and I love you for it..but I don’t want to be a burden.”

“Stop saying that. You are not a burden. I love you with all my heart, and that could never be a burden.” He said kissing me.

“Okay, lets get you unpacked.” He said pulling away from me after a few moments.

“What are we doing tonight anyways?” I asked when I got up to his room.

“Going to dinner with the family, and then just going to Halifax.” He said.

“Speaking of the family..” I said.

“My dad does not hate you!” He blurted out.

“Good to know, but I was going to ask what they thought about me staying here?”

“My mom thinks is good, because she loves you obviously. And she thinks its important that our relationship grows outside the confines of the hockey season. My sister is thrilled to have you here, because she doesn’t know you very well and I mean she is 13, of course she is going to be excited to have a 19 year old girl around.” He said.

“We should have had Jaydyn and Jocelyn meet Taylor..” I said.

“That would have been good. She is friends with Stephanie.” He said.

“Yeah, which probably means she wouldn’t like my sisters.” I said laughing.

“What?”

“I mean Jay and Jocy are close with Lauren, I mean they are friends with Stephanie, but you know how it is when you are into a sport and other people aren’t.”

“Yeah.. Taylor is pretty easy going.”

“Oh like her big brother?” I said laughing.

“Whats that suppose to mean?”

“Nothing.” I said just laughing.

Chapter Sixty-Eight

I can’t even describe the night I just had with Sidney. We went to the Pirates game. Mario got us club seats, so we wouldn’t be surrounded by fans. While we were walking hand in hand into the game, people definitely noticed us but no one came up to him and asked him for pictures or autographs, it was basically amazing. When we got up to the seats we just watched the game together, just joking around and sharing food with eachother. He hadn’t been to a Pirates game since his rookie year and we had never been to one together, which is kind of hard to believe. It was a perfect night. He had his arm around me for most of the game, and I just felt completely safe. I felt like a normal couple, but it just made me realize that he would be going back to Canada sooner than I wanted. We were waiting for the fireworks to begin and his arm was around me and we were inches from eachother.

“I wish it could be this way forever.” I whispered inches from his face.

“It will be.”

“You leave soon and then it will go back to normal.” I said.

“Actually, I was hoping you would come with me.” He said and then the fireworks started. He didn’t say anything about that again until we got back to Marios. We were lying in bed together when he said something about it again.

“So did you think about what I said?” He asked.

“What did you say?” I said a little confused.

“About coming to Canada.” He said.

“What do you mean?” I said still a little confused.

“I want us to spend the summer together.. I want you to come back with me.” He said.

“Sidney.. my parents would never go for that.” I said.

“I’m not asking your parents.. I’m asking you.” He said.

“It doesn’t matter what I think if my parents don’t let me.” I said.

“Joey, would you want to spend the summer with me at my house in Canada?” He asked staring directly into my eyes.

“Of course I want to spend the summer with you..”

“Well I already talked to your parents.” He said.

“What?”

“I talked to them before you even came back. I want you to be with me in my normal life. When I am in Canada, its just so calm and serene. It is there where I truly am just Sidney Crosby, the boy.”

After awhile of just lying there thinking about what just happened, I turned to him. “Are you serious?” I asked.

“So serious.” He said.

“When will we leave?” I asked.

“The day after tomorrow.” He said.

“Oh my gosh.” I simply said.

“I can’t wait for you to hang out with Taylor.” He said.

“I know I don’t really know her that well, its kind of weird.”

“You will after this summer. And my dad..” He said.

“Your dad will never like me no matter how long I am around.” I said laughing.

“I don’t think that’s true.” He said.

“Thanks for tonight.. it was perfect.” I whispered right before we both fell asleep.

“I love you, Joey.” He whispered than kissed me on the forehead.

Chapter Sixty-Seven

“Stop looking at me like that.” I said to Sidney after he just putted in his ball on the 15^th hole.

“Like what?” He said.

“You know what I’m talking about.” I said and then I hit my ball and missed. I just looked at Sidney.

“Seriously, Sidney. Stop it.” I said.

“I’m not going anything.”

“But you are.” I said and finally put the ball in the hole.

This went on for the remaining three holes. Sidney ended up beating everyone, and I beat Sophie.

“Seriously, Sidney. One word about it and I’m walking home.” I said walking to the car.

“Knock it off guys, its just a game.” Jake said.

“I’m sorry that we just aren’t the perfect couple like you and Sophie.” I said with an attitude and got into the car.

“Jo, I don’ t want to fight about this.” Sidney said when we got into the car.

“Yeah, this is why we don’t play games with each other.”

“Are you going to be this way the whole night?”

“ME? You are saying this is my fault?! You are the one that would put a ball in and look at me with this smug look.”

“I did not do that.”

“You did. Its like you wanted to rub it in. Of course you are going to win, Sidney. I play golf like once a year!” I said.

“Okay lets just drop it.” He said.

“No, we are having a rematch.”

“What?” He said.

“We are going mini golfing tonight, my turf.” I said.

“Fine, but seriously Jo, this is stupid.”

“Its not stupid, because I hate to lose and so do you. That’s why we don’t play games together, ever!” I said.

“Fine, we will go mini golfing and then after that this fight can be over.” Sidney said.

“Deal.” I said and Sidney headed towards the mini golf course.

“Stop sucking!” I said to Sidney after the first two holes where he got a 4.

“I just don’t want us to fight.” He said looking at me with his puppy dog eyes.

“I told you after this it will be done, but please try or else there will be another fight.” I said.

“Okay, I promise I won’t let you win.” He said laughing.

“Awe, so sweet.” I said moving to the next hole.

We both got 2s on the 3^rd hole and as soon as Sidney put his in the hole (he always went first), two little boys came up to him.

“Are you Sidney Crosby?” The one asked him. I looked at the one and shook my head yes.

“Yeah, whats your name?” Sidney asked bending down to talk to them.

“My name is Alec and his name is Spencer.” Alec said.

“This is Joey.” Sidney said pointing to me.

“We didn’t know if it was you, we thought you would be in Canada.” Spencer said.

“No, I came back for a little. Do you guys play hockey?” Sidney asked them.

“Yeah, I play defense.” Alec said.

“I play forward, like you.” Spencer said smiling.

“Do you think you could sign this for us?” Alec asked handing him a random piece of paper.

“Of course.” Sidney said signing the paper.

“Is it okay if our mom takes a picture?” Spencer asked.

“That’s fine.” Sidney said and woman walked over and took a picture of Sidney with the two boys.

“Thanks so much Sidney!” They yelled and ran to where their dad was standing across the course.

“They like legit were done on the course and spotted you.” I said once they left.

“I know, wouldn’t you do that if you saw David Beckham?”

“Yeah, but you aren’t David Beckham.” I said giving him a little shove.

It was really fun, this golfing trip. I forgot the whole incident from earlier, but I was totally winning. It was just nice to be out with Sidney doing something like this. However, by the time we hit the 7^th hole a group of teenagers were behind us. I tried to ignore them. There were 2 girls probably 17 or 18 and two guys. The girls kept whispering behind us, and I figured they were talking about Sidney. I was surprised it took them 2 holes to come up and talk to him. I really couldn’t believe they did it. I was ready to hit the ball on hole 9 when the two girls legit walked on the green and started talking to Sidney. I was too far away to hear what they were saying but I can just imagine the conversation. I just saw the two girls laughing and flirting with him. One actually like touched him. I tried to ignore it, but I guess it was obvious I was getting annoyed, because the one guy in their group said something to me.

“How annoying is that?” He said.

“Is one of them your girlfriend?” I asked.

“Yeah, the one in the white. But, she would obviously rather talk to him than hang out with me.” He said laughing.

“Yeah, apparently.” I said.

“Nice of them to just ruin your game.” The other kid said.

“I just can’t believe they had enough nerve to come up and say something to him. I mean what could they have said to break the ice?” I said looking at the two boys.

“They have been coming up with things to say since they saw you guys.”

“What hole did they see us at?” I asked them a little confused.

“They spotted you as soon as we got here.” The one said.

“Good to know they we had people watching us the whole time.” I said.

“Hey, do you think you could move your little shindig off the actual course?” I said to them. They soon moved and I putted the ball. Me trying to move on with the game didn’t help at all. All 6 of us ended up playing the rest of the holes together.

“Doesn’t this get annoying?” Bill asked. I finally asked them their names. Bill has the girlfriend in the white, Laura. Kyle had the girlfriend in the green, Megan.

“It was annoying when they interrupted the game, it crossed the line when ya’ll started playing with us. Not that I don’t like meeting new people, but I was just suppose to be having a nice evening with my friend, not 4 strangers and especially not 2 girls flirting.” I said.

“Sorry, boyfriend?” Kyle asked.

“Yeah, not like your girlfriends care.” I said.

“Does it happen a lot?” Bill asked.

“Mostly when we are out together, people leave us be. You will get the few pictures and what not that want to be taken, but the places we go, we go all the time, so people are use to seeing us there.” I explained.

“Are they even hockey fans?” I asked at like the 15^th hole. Sidney basically has said like 5 words to me since he started talking to them. Its not that he wanted to talk to them, I could see he was trying to find a way out, but Sidney couldn’t do that. He isn’t that type of person. The two girls didn’t even acknowledge my presence, which just annoyed me even more.

“They are the casual fan. We like it, so they watch it sometimes.” Kyle said.

“Really, Sidney. Really was it necessary to give them a hug when we left?” I asked when we got into the car.

“Its not like I wanted too.”

“Then don’t. You could have said at like hole 7 that we wanted to play and it was nice meeting them. I just want one night where its just us two. I mean we can’t even go mini golfing together!” I said getting upset.

“I’m sorry babe.” He said kind of in a whiny voice.

“Its just annoying. I get it, you have fans. I was okay with the kids coming up to you, because I mean you are like their hero. But those girls? I mean you aren’t at the rink, you aren’t at a team event or even an NHL event, you are out. And then they didn’t even acknowledge me!” I said.

“Its not like I wanted this to happen. Its not like I invited them to play with us!” He said.

“I know, but you also didn’t tell them not too.”

“Are you really jealous of them?” He asked.

“You did not just say that!” I said.

“Then what is it?”

“Its not about being jealous, its about wanting to spend time with my boyfriend. Its about wanting to have one day with Sidney, the boy and not Sidney, the hockey player.”

“I’m really sorry, Jo. I don’t want to be that guy who is too good to talk to people. I want to be a normal guy.”

“That’s what I am saying. I want you to be a normal guy. I want to be able to go mini golfing in peace, but that will never happen.” I said.

“Baby, I love you and I am sorry. But you did beat me.” He said looking at me when we were at a stop light.

“I did beat you.” I said smiling.

“you know what that means?” He said.

“No?” I said a little confused.

“Ice cream.” He said knowing that it would cheer me up.

When he pulled into Cold stone, thankfully it was empty. He grabbed my hand and we got our ice cream. We sat and shared a tub.

“I promise, tomorrow at the Pirates game it will be better.” He said.

“Are there fireworks tomorrow?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“You promise we can stay for them?” I asked.

“I promise. And I promise that we won’t get bothered during the game.” He said.

“I don’t mean to be a downer. Its just hard and annoying. I mean I just wanted to spend time with you because we don’t get it too often and then those girls. Its like can you imagine doing that? I would never ever do what they did.”

“I know, babe. Lets just forget about it.” He said and we walked out of the store hand in hand.

“Lets just go rent a movie.” He said when he got into the car.

“Can we watch it at Marios?” I asked.

“Yeah.”

“You pick the movie.” I said.

So that’s what we did. We went to the movie place close to Sewickley, picked out a movie. Actually, Sidney picked out the movies. I don’t even know what they were, all I know is that he would be explaining them to me.

“I don’t get why you always pick confusing movies. Then you get annoyed when I ask you questions.” I said when we got into the car.

“I don’t get annoyed!” he said.

“You so do! You know you do.” I said laughing.

We got back to Mario’s, but no one is home. They left for Florida today, so we had the house to ourselves. Funny that they trust Sidney enough to leave him alone in the house, but whatever. So we got back to Marios. I got changed into some of Sidney’s clothes and we cuddled on the couch and watched the movies. It was perfect, really perfect. I could see myself being content doing this for the rest of my life.

“This feels so right.” He whispered after the movie was over.

“I know, I never want to let go.” I said kissing him. We finally broke apart.

“Good thing you never have too.” He said then grabbed me hand and we headed upstairs.