Chapter Sixty-Four

“Sophie!” I said yelling when I saw Sophie walk out to the pool.

“Hey Girl!” She said.

“What on earth are you doing here?” I asked her once she sat down.

“You know, I heard you were having a rough time. Plus, I want to see Jake so I thought I would stop here on the way to Pittsburgh.”

“you and Jake, that’s soo weird!” I said laughing.

“Do you care?”

“Of course I don’t care.” I said.

“I’m so glad that you are here. I mean I don’t get how you can do it, and Sidney can’t.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean you show up and cheer me up because you know I need it. Sidney knows I miss him so much my heart literally hurts and he thinks I should just fly to him.”

“Is that what the fight was about?”

“Yeah, and Ben.”

“Ben?”

“Yeah, I mean its my fault about that. I’m not going to see him again. I mean 3 days without Sidney isn’t worth seeing Ben.”

“Don’t you think you are being a little crazy about this following thing though?” Sophie asked with all seriousness.

“What? Are you serious?”

“Yeah, I’m serious. Why does it matter who does the following?”

“It matters, Soph. Its like he doesn’t get the fact that I have a life too.”

“He gets it, but he has a crazy life.”

“I don’t really get why his life is any more important than my life.”

“Because he is Sidney Crosby.”

“Well I didn’t ask for that!” I said getting upset.

“Maybe not, but that’s how it is.”

“You don’t get it.”

“Tell me then.” She said.

“Its hard dating him because of who he is. I know who he is, I know he is famous and I know that his life is crazy. I know that more people will think of him on a given night than people will think of me ever. I know he makes more money in one year than I will in a life time. I know all of this. I also know that I have big dreams too. I know that I have a life and I deserve to live it the way I want too. I just don’t think its right for me to always give in to him. I love him, I truly do. I would give the world to be with him, but it might be nice to know he would give the world to be with me too.”

“That made no sense at all.”

“It makes perfect sense to me. Girls want to be with him and guys want to be him. Girls throw themselves at him on any given night. Somedays I just want to know that he doesn’t want to be anywhere that I am not. I know this seems crazy, but sometimes I just want to know that he loves me.”

“He does love you. Jumping on a plane doesn’t prove that he does.”

“Yeah, but then why do I always do the jumping?”

“I just.. I don’t know. Its just hard being with him. Its hard to date someone that is famous and lives in a different country. Its hard to explain why its so hard.”

“I’m not going to try to tell you that you are crazy or that you are wrong. I know that I don’t know how it is to be with him. I mean Jake is not Sidney Crosby. And I know you didn’t wish to fall inlove with a hockey player, but you should never doubt that he loves you. He has loved you longer than I have known you.”

“I know he loves me, but I also know that he sometimes gives into his temptations.”

“It doesn’t mean he will again.” Sophie said.

“I do miss him, Soph. But when he goes back to Sewickley the only reason is because its Mario’s golf tournament. Its not because he wants to see me. Its not like he is making a trip just because he misses me. Even if I was back, we wouldn’t see eachother at like all. It just doesn’t seem fair.”

“You just want him to make this grand gesture.”

“Yeah, I do. I feel like I always make this grand gesture. I mean I went to Detroit for him. I do everything for him, its just I keep thinking he will do something. I have been waiting three years for him to make it clear that he loves me and that will never change.”

“You aren’t in a TV show, Jo.”

“Whats that suppose to mean?”

“Jake and I both think that you sometimes forget that Sidney isn’t a character in a movie or on TV. He is just a 20 year old, he doesn’t have writers to make him do romantic things every day. He does his best, but don’t mix up being in love and being in love in Hollywood.”