Chapter Eighteen

"Let's play a game." I said laying in the hospital for the last day.
"A game?" Sidney asked.
"Yeah, Sidney.. a game. I am bored!"
"Well I'm leaving in like two hours for the road."
"Yeah, I kind of hate you."
"Shut up, no you don't."
"Okay, then lets have a serious talk."
"How about that game?" He said trying to change the subject.
"No we are talking now."
"About what? We talk about everything all the time."
"About us."
"What about us?"
"Are we good?"
"I'm here aren't I."
"Sidney.."
"What?"
"You being here doesn't mean that everything is great. You are here because you have to be.. because if you weren't we probably wouldn't recover from it."
"I'm here because I want to be.. why is it so hard for you to realize that I want to be by your side?"
"It just seems weird to me."
"Elaborate."
"Of all the girls you could date.. everyone.. why me?"
"Because we met by chance and since that day I haven't gone a day without wondering how your day is going. You are the person I count on most in this world and no other girl could ever come close to that."
"Sidney.. I just don't get why we can't go back to being fun and not so serious?"
"So what are you saying? I want us both to be on the same page.."
"Okay, heres where my head is at.. but remember I am on pain killers..and don't get mad at me."
"I won't be mad."
"I like you.. I mean I love you as my best friend and I'm not ready to say I love you as the love of my life because right now I'm not inlove with you. I like you and you are the only person I want to be with right now, but I don't really want us to jump into this and have this serious relationship. I know that me and you anytime we are together it get intense, but I just want us to get back to where we were. I first want to focus on getting back our friendship dynamic before I start thinking about anything else.. because before any of this started, we were best friends."
"I know you are scared." He said empathetic.
"I am scared about so many things.."
"Tell me something you are afraid of."
"I'm afraid of never getting back to that place where we were that night we went to dinner with your parents. I'm scared that if your mom saw us right now she would be like what happened?"
"I promise we will get back.. we will be better than before."
"Tell me something your afraid of." I asked him.
"I'm scared of you never trusting me with your heart."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm scared that the fear of losing me is going to prevent you from ever really having me. I'm scared that you will never give us the chance to fall inlove."
"I'm scared of that too. I'm scared that the fear of losing your friendship is going to cost me you."
"Well then don't let it."
"I'm going to let myself try, but I need to just get back and I know from there it will be fine."
"What else are you scared of?"
"I'm scared of that you will never forgive me from being with Simon."
"Jo, I already have forgiven you."
"But have you really forgiven me? Have you gotten to the point where you won't bring it up and throw it at me."
"Is that what you are scared of.. that I will throw it in your face when we get into a fight?"
"I just know that if I loved you and told you and then you went and got a girlfriend and had sex.. I wouldn't have been able to forgive you this quickly."
"Jo.. listen to me. I love you no matter what, unconditionally so whatever you do I will always forgive you."
"You can't be this perfect."
"You know I'm not perfect."
"Haha so true..I've seen your fashion sense.. that could use some help!" I said laughing. "Name something else you are scared of."
"Not being enough."
"Like for your team?"
"Yeah and other things. I am scared that I won't be enough to lead this team to greatness. I'm scared that I've already hit my peak.. what if I just turn into an average player."
"You have so much more greatness inside of you. You are going to be the best player in the world, you may have some down years or some subpar years, but those subpar years to you will still be better than the majority of the league. You are an amazing hockey player and amazing person and don't ever doubt that."
"I'm scared of not being enough for you."
"Not possible."
"Think about it.. I have this life that I can't get out of."
"You love this life and anyone that is going to be in your life is going to have realize that seeing you happy is enough."
"So how is the knee?"
"It hurts so bad, Sidney.I can't even imagine it not hurting anymore."
"Are you taking your medication?"
"No, Sid.. I'm just thinking to rough it out.. of course I'm taking it!"
"I guess all I can say is hang in there."
"Where are you off too?"
"Ottawa."
"Canada..nice."
"Why did you just say it like that?"
"I don't know. Just ignore me."
"Yeah, I do that alot actually."
"You are so nice!" I said laughing.
"Hey, Joey. You ready to go?" Jacob said coming in.
"I'm leaving already?"
"Yeah.." Jake said.
"Okay, just give me two minutes." I said and Jacob walked out.
"Thanks for being here, Sidney."
"You don't need to thank me for anything."
"Good luck, tonight."
"Thanks babe. I'll text you later.. just sleep."
"Yeah, I think I'll do that." I said and he gave me a quick kiss on the lips. "Hey, don't go falling inlove with any of your female admirers."
"I'll try not too.. but what can I say.. I'm kind of irresistible."
"Yeah.. keep telling yourself that!" I said laughing. "Bye, Sid." I said blowing him a kiss.

Sidney left and then soon Jacob came and got me into a wheel chair. I had to on cruches for like two months.. two long long months. Oh well, I felt like things were about to go back to being normal. Jacob and I would get back to being us and me and Sidney were on our way to something great. Now I just get to lay on the couch and watch my sisters and brothers run all over the house and I couldn't chase them. Things would be okay, again. I was sure of that.