Chapter Twenty-Five

January 1, 2008

"Babe." He said when he came down the stairs and found me laying on the couch. When he said that I turned and tried to get up quickley.
"Why are you back in your brace?" He said walking towards me.
"The doctor said that it would probably be best for me to just keep it on until I go back to school." I explained.
"When did this happen?"
"Like the day you left for Buffalo."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Its not a big deal."
"But it is.. I'm sure it sucks for you."
"Its fine. Did you thaw out?" I said putting both of my hands on his face.
"It was so cold, Jo." He said reaching up and touching my hands.
"I could tell. All I kept telling Jake was how cold you looked and how I just wanted to hug you." I said that and then he gave me a deeply passionate kiss.
"What was that for?" I asked.
"I figured we didn't spend New Years with eachother, so that was our New Years kiss." He said.
"I love you." I said kissing him again.
"And I love you." He said.
"So how amazing was it playing there?" I asked him sitting down on the couch.
"It was indescribable. I wish you could have been there and experienced it with me."
"I know." I said looking away.
"Whats wrong?" He asked me.
"Nothing.. I'm fine."I said.
"Joey.. I can tell when something is wrong." He said.
"Its nothing.. seriously."
"Promise me." He said.
"I promise."
"I just want you to talk to me."
"I do talk to you. I tell you everything."
"So did you have fun in Canada over the holidays?" He asked moving closer and putting his arm around me.
"I did."
"Baby.." He said trying to make me look in his eyes.
"What?" I said.
"Something is wrong..I just don't know what it is and I don't get why you won't tell me."
"Something just doesn't feel right." I blurted out.
"What do you mean?"
"This just doesn't feel real."
"I don't get it." he said confused.
"Its like you go out and do your thing and then you just report back to me. Its not like we are in eachothers lives." I said.
"You are the biggest part of my life, baby."
"No, Sidney. Hockey is the biggest part of your life."
"Whats this about?" he said getting upset.
"Its nothing.. its just sometimes its like we aren't real."
"I don't know what that means."
"Just forget it."
"How am I suppose to forget it?"
"Please.. just forget it."
"you make no sense..you know that right?" He said getting up.
"Don't make us fight when you just got back." I said getting up then.
"I'm not making us do anything.. you brought it up." He said.
"You wanted to know.. I was just telling you how I feel."
"Well maybe you shouldn't have."
"What are you talking about? Seriously, Sidney. Don't do this." I said getting pissed.
"I'm not going to say anything.. I'm just going to leave."
"don't leave Sidney." I said grabbing his hand.
"Why not?"
"Because I love you and I want you here with me."
"We aren't real though."
"Thats not what I meant." I said and I kissed him. "This has to be real."
"Then what did you mean?" He said staring into my eyes.
"First off.. I love you. It just is sometimes like we do the same thing all the time. You go away and then we meet here and we talk about it. Its like I'm still in high school and I hate it. Its like we are together, but its not like you are my life. We don't ever have alone time. I mean I live here and you live with Mario. I just love you but I don't like our situation sometimes."
"You want me to get a place?" he said.
"Its not just like that.. its just like it doesn't feel like we have this mature relationship because.. I don't know, maybe I'm just not making any sense."
"No, you are making sense. I get you."
"You always get me." I said kissing him quickly.
"I am looking for a place.." He started. "And anytime you want to have a night together, I'll book a hotel room where we can just spend a night together."
"Thanks baby." I said.
"Jo.. don't you know by now that I love you and that this is for forever."
"I loved spending Christmas with you.. I really really did."
"I know, me too. Now its going to be hard if we have to spend one apart." He said.
"That won't happen."
"You're right. I won't let it happen." He said.
"Your dad so hates me." I said laughing.
"He doesn't hate you."
"He liked me alot better when I was just the best friend and not the girlfriend." I said.
"Thats not true."
"It is. I don't get it though. I don't get what he thinks I'm going to do. Its not like I am this new person in your life.. I have known you since your rookie year."
"Trust me, he likes you."
"He doesn't at all, which hurts because he means so much to you."
"My dad is my best friend." He said and I looked away.
"But, baby.." He said and I looked at him. "I really don't care what anyone thinks, you make me complete.. without you I would just be some stupid hockey player."
"you are still some stupid hockey player."
"You love me though, so I can be okay with that." He said laughing.
"I'm glad you are back." I said.
"Me too.. but I leave in like three days again."
"I hate that..I hate having you and then having to say goodbye."
"I hate saying goodbye to you.. but I love coming back to you.. no matter how bad the roadtrip goes.. its just good to see you."
"You are like the sweetest person in the world."
"Well thats just not possible.. you haven't met everyone in the world."
"You did not just say that." I said laughing.
"Yeah.. I am a dork.. you know this."
"I guess I am one too, since I love you." I said kissing him.