Chapter Fifteen

October 2007
Sidney and I tried to get past everything, but it was hard. I didn't have that much time to hang out with him and it was hard for him knowing that I was always with Simon. The Sidney part of my life sucked, because I missed him more than anything. But, the rest of my life was going pretty well. I got a starting spot on my soccer team and me and Simon are really good. Classes were going well and I really liked the whole college thing. The only thing missing was Sidney and I didn't know how to fix it. I decided that I needed to bite the bullet and see him. I hadn't seen him since that night. We talked, but never saw those brown eyes.
"Soph, want to go somewhere with me tonight?" I asked when she got back from dinner.
"Where?"
"I was thinking we could go to Sidney's game tonight?"
"When will we be back?"
"We will be back by 11.. I just want to see him and stuff."
"Do you have tickets?"
"Working on that."

"Hi, Mrs. Lemieux..Its Joey Smith."
"Joey, how are you?"
"I'm good, I was just wondering if there was any way I could get two tickets for tonights game?"
"I'm sure we can arrange something.. Sidney couldn't get you any?"
"Sidney and I are having some problems right now, but I wanted to see him and surprise him."
"Oh of course, there will be tickets for you."

So we went to the game. It was fun for Sophie to see Sidney, and it was good for me to see him doing something he loved. I didn't realize how much I missed him until I saw him.
"Where are we going?" Sophie asked after the game.
"The lockerroom."
"What?"
"I need to talk to him, Sophie."
"Can you do that?"
"Yeah, I use to come like every game."
It took him awhile to come out. After awhile, Brooks came out.
"Hey Jo." He said coming over.
"Hey Brooks.. is Sidney coming out soon?"
"He is still doing media stuff.. does he know you are out here?"
"No, we are having some issues, so I wanted to surprise him."
"He could be awhile still."
"Does he hate me?"
"He could never hate you.. but you hurt him."
"I know."I said and he walked away.
"Sophie, you can take my car back to campus.. you shouldn't have to wait for him. I'll wait and have him drive me back."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure. Thanks for coming." I said and she left.
I waited another twenty minutes for him to come out.
"What are you doing here?" He said when he saw me.
"I wanted to see you." I said but he kept walking. "Sidney!" I said.
He stopped to talk to some people and I just went straight to his car.
"Let me in my car." He said to me.
"I need a ride."
"Of course you do.. how else did you expect for us to have this talk."
"You are acting like we don't talk anymore!"
"Do we talk anymore?"
"You know we do."
"I wouldn't call that talking, Jo. We never have a meaningful conversation anymore."
"I miss you and I'm sorry."
"Sorry doesn't make up for choosing someone over me."
"I never chose anyone over you, Sidney."
"really? cause thats what it felt like."
"It wasn't like that. It isn't like that. If I had to choose, I would choose you."
"You say that, but it doesn't change anything. We are still this way."
"This is what I didn't want to happen. We aren't us anymore and I hate it. I am tired of missing you when you are only a few miles away from me."
"I'm tired of missing someone that isn't even around anymore."
"Sidney, I can't do this anymore.. I can't fight with you anymore." I said crying.
"Jo, if we could go back.. I would go back in a heartbeat.. I just don't see it happening."
"No, this isn't happening. You are my best friend.. I need you!" I said.
"And I love you, but you love someone else."
"I still love you.. I don't love Simon."
"You don't love Simon, but you are with him?"
"I don't know him well enough to love him.."
"Are you sleeping together?"
"Sidney!"
"Are you?"
"We have a few times."
"So you had sex with someone for the first time and you don't even love them?"
"Sidney I can't talk to you about this."
"Do you know how much that hurts? To love you so much and know that you are having sex with someone else?"
"I'm sorry, Sidney. I don't want to hurt you and I don't want us to fight. I just want to be with you like before."
"Thanks for coming to the game tonight." He said.
"Sidney, you are acting like I am this stranger."
"You kind of feel like one."
"Does it help you when you make me cry?"
"I don't want to see you cry.. and I don't want to hurt you. I just.. I don't know how to be okay with this."
"Well please.. figure it out. Because I need you and I miss you more everyday that passes."
"Don't say things like that."
"They are true."
"Then don't be with this Simon kid. Do that, and things will be fine." He said unlocking the doors. I figured it was a sign for me to get out of the car.