Chapter Twenty-Three

Christmas Break 2007

I got my brace off about two days ago. I don't have full motion yet, but I am working everyday. Once I get the full motion back I can start running and training to get back into soccer. Sidney and I have been good. We hang out as much as possible. It is hard because he is on the road or at practice or at a game and I have school and my life at RMU. We definitely see eachother once a week and we talk daily. I try and go to the games on the weekends, but its hard to go during the week. We are working and its good right now. We have yet to take our relationship to the "next level" if you know what I mean. We have gotten close, but I guess my fear of losing the friendship isn't completely vanished yet.
"I have a big question." He said when we were laying on the couch in my basement on the first day of break.
"Whats that? I'm scared."
"I know that Jacob has a tournament in Boston and the family is going up there. I know that you don't really want to.. and I was wondering if you wanted to come back to Cole Harbour?"
"Are you serious?" I said shocked.
"Well its only for two days. We would leave Dec. 23 after the game and come back the day after Christmas in the morning."
"Are you sure, Sidney? Like do your parents care?"
"I'm kind of more worried about my parents."
"I actually already asked them. They know you were really upset when you learned you had to go to Boston and watching hockey, so I asked them and they said fine."
"But my parents are leaving like Dec. 20?"
"Yeah?" He said confused.
"I don't really like staying by myself." I said.
"I'll stay with you.. its not a big deal. Or you can stay at the Lemieuxs.. don't stress."
"Well that means I have to go shopping since I'm going to have to give them my gifts before they leave for Boston."
"you think they will open all the gifts without you?"
"Jason, Jordan, and maybe Jocelyn all still believe."
"Oh yeah, I forgot about that."
"Yeah, so wanna go shopping?" I asked.
"They could be crazy.. but I'll come."
"Tomorrow?"
"Yeah, babe."
"Can we watch a girl movie?" I asked.
"Anything."
"You might cry." I said looking at him.
"Haha are you going to cry?" He asked me.
"I legit cry everytime I watch it.. so.."
"Awe I'll comfort you."
"Shut up." I said.
"What movie is it?"
"A Walk to Remember."
"I thought you were going to say the Notebook."
"Oh just give it time, babe."
"Can't wait."
"Will you get the movie though because I can't bend down that far?" I asked and he found the movie on the bookshelf.
"So before the movie starts.. lets talk for a few."
"Babe, we talk all the time." I said.
"Just tell me about school.. did you get your grades?"
"Yeah.."
"And how did you do?"
"I got a 3.6"
"Thats good."
"Yeah.. I mean its kind of hard not to do well when you are an athlete.. they make us go to study meetings and stuff."
"Thats good, though.. so did you like it?"
"I liked soccer and I love just the college life. Living in the dorms, walking around in sweats and just rolling out of bed and going to class. I just love that life of living in that little bubble on campus."
"You did seem really happy." He said.
"I did, babe. But you were a big part of that. I actually didn't like it as much in the beginning."
"You are so lying!" He said.
"No, I'm so serious." I said looking at him. "I figured something out."
"Whats that?"
"I never loved Simon and I told you that. But I figured out why I couldn't just tell you that I wanted to be with you."
"Why?"
"Its like with you I knew you were the boy I wanted to be with forever. You are my soul mate, if that means I'm going to marry you or if that means you are going to be my best friend for the rest of my life, I don't know. But I think I was scared of that. I was scared of starting to date someone that I knew I could marry. I wasn't ready for that. I wasn't ready to date one guy. Before Simon, you are my only boyfriend. I mean I have kissed you, Simon, and Jeremiah. I just wasn't ready for forever." I said.
"I'm not ready for forever yet, either."
"I know, but you are so much more mature than me." I said.
"Oh can't argue with that." He said.
"I just thought you should know that I never really stopped loving you." I said and once I said that L word, he kissed me. "What was that for?" I said.
"I love you too." he said.
"Okay, enough. Movie time. And don't make fun of me if I cry."
"It will be cute." He said. Then we snuggled together and sat there. I kept my knee up on the couch and layed on Sidney. It was so comfy and it was the perfect picture.

After the Movie
"I just cry everytime.. can you imagine loving someone that much and having like no time." I said after the movie crying still.
"Babe.. don't cry." He said trying to wipe away some of my tears.
"Its just sad. Like I've known you for two years and its just like think about all the time we have wasted fighting or not being together."
"But we are together now."
"I know, thank God." I said kissing him.
"I looked up at one point in the movie and I saw some tears." I said looking up at him. He tried to deny it.
"I just kept thinking about if that would really happen.. like imagine loving someone out of the blue, thinking you have forever and them being sick. I don't think I could be strong enough. I was just thinking if that was you, would I be strong enough to help you get through it?"
"You would be.. you and Jacob are my rocks. Without you I wouldn't even be able to get through this knee thing."
"Your my best friend.. you know that right?"
"Your my best friend too,Sidney." I said.
"But you know what else you are?" He asked.
"No?" I said confused.
"I think you could quite possibly be the love of my life." He said. Once he said it I just started to cry. "Why are you crying?" He asked confused.
"Because I really do love you and I never thought this would happen. Before I met you I was never thinking about forever. To be honest, I couldn't comprehend how people could be married for thirty-plus years and loving someone that much.. but I do." I said and then we kissed and kissed and kissed.
"I'm going to quote Dawson Leery." I said.
"Who the hell is Dawson Leery?" He said laughing.
"Dawson Leery.. like from Dawson's Creek!" I said completely flabergasted that he had no idea what it was. "Oh babe, you just opened yourself up to that.. we are watching seasons now!" I said laughing.
"Well whats the quote."
"That I fell inlove with you twice. Once as my best friend and once as the love that changed my life."
"I love how we just break off into this intense conversations." He said laughing.
"What can I say.. we love to talk." I said staring smiling at him.
"Talking is good.. but kissing.. is better." He said and then we kissed and he pulled away.
"I have to go.. your coming tomorrow, though right?"
"Do I ever not come to a game if I can?" I said.
"True." He said. "I'll call you tomorrow. Can't wait for that Dawson shit." He said laughing.
"Hold on.. I'll walk up with you." I said and he stopped.
"thanks for tonight.. love crying." He said.
"I knew you cried!" I said laughing.
"Night.. Love you." He said kissing me quickly on the lips.
"I love you too. Talk to you tomorrow." I said and watched him get into his car and drive back to his house.
"That night was perfect." I thought to myself and went up to my room and fell asleep. I guarantee I dreamed of Sidney that night.