Chapter Fourteen

July 2007
"This feels right." He whispered in my ear when he woke up.
"I heard that." I said rolling over and facing him.
"Well its true." He said kissing me.
"Sidney." I said sitting up.
"What not?"
"It feels right and I don't want you to think that I don't like waking up beside you, but its just.."
"Its just what?"
"I don't really want to go into my freshman year having a boyfriend. I don't know what to expect.. I don't know how soccer is going to go, imagine being one of the new girls and then having to explain that the one boy I love more than anything in the world is Sidney Crosby."
"Explain to me how if I am the one boy you love more than anything in the world, how would it be possible for us to be apart?"
"Us not being together doesn't change the way I feel about you. I am doing this to keep us this way. I just.. trust me."
"I know its going to be okay."
"I can't believe I leave today." I said.
"I know.. these two weeks went way too fast."
"When do you come back?"
"Early September."
"I wish I could stay longer, its just we start practice in like a few days."
"I know, Jo."
We layed in bed a little longer and then I got ready to leave. When he drove me to the airport, we had a farewell kiss in the car. Then he walked me to my portal.
"Don't go being a superstar." He said hugging me.
"Oh yeah, you know.. I am just going to rule the school. I did learn from the master." I said smiling.
"I'm going to miss you."
"Stop it, Sidney. I am going to see you soon and I will talk to you all the time. I'll text you when I land. Love." I said kissing his cheek and walking into the runway.

August 2007
For the past two weeks we have been doing alot of team bonding. ALOT of team bonding and ALOT of practice. I've met alot of the guys on the soccer team.. and they are really chill. Its awesome to be around people that are so similar to me. Alot of the guys are from England and I think its so funny, but they are really nice. My roommate is Sophie, she is awesome. They all think its weird that I have a twin brother and that we weren't born on the same day.
"Wait, so explain the whole your birthday being February 10 and Jake's being the 9th?" Sophie said the one night we were having a "gathering" at the boys' soccer house.
"He was born at like 11:57 or something and I was born at 12:04 the next day. It isn't that weird." I said.
I hadn't really told anyone that much about Sidney. I told Sophie because she would hear us on the phone. Sid and I still talked alot but it was different. I could tell it bothered him that I had this life that he wasn't really apart of. The one day after practice things got a little more complicated.
"Hey, Joey. Do you want to go get something to eat?" This kid Simon said. He was a junior, captain of the soccer team and from England.
"Sure." I said. That was the start of something I totally didn't expect. From that day on Simon and I would play soccer or football if you are him, go to dinner, hang out. A few days before classes were to begin he asked if we could be exclusive. I didn't hesitate.. I liked him and thats all I knew. It just felt right, he was apart of this life I had begun.

"So Simon asked me to be his girlfriend." I said sitting on Jacob's bed in his dorm room.
"Its weird that you are dating this kid and I don't even know what he looks like."
"Well you should probably get out more since I am with him all the time!"
"Does he look like anyone?"
"He kind of looks like Rob Pattinson but with like really short hair."
"Who the hell is that?"
"He was in Harry Potter."
"You would like someone that is from Harry Potter!"
"Shut up, Jake."
"So what does Sidney think?"
"I didn't tell him."
"why not?"
"I don't want to hurt him. It was like hard enough when I didn't have someone now it would be too hard. I told him I didn't want a boyfriend.. well I waited like a month and I got one."
"You have to tell him."
"I will.. just not yet."
"He is going to find out."
"How? He is in Canada."
"He won't always be there."
"I know and I will tell him before he comes back."

When school started my life was completely occupied by soccer and school. It was like I woke up went running with Simon and then to class, then ate lunch with some of the girls, went to practice and meetings, then had dinner with Simon, did some homework and hung out with Simon and some of the girls. It was just a cycle. The girls on the team joked that we were the perfect couple. We would like both walk around campus with our sweats and soccer gear holding hands. It did seem perfect until the one night I was walking back from dinner with Simon to my dorm.
"What are you doing here?" I said to him before Simon even realized I knew the person standing infront of the door. As soon as I saw him I let go of Simon's hand.
"I start training camp in two days." He said.
"Sidney, this is Simon. Simon this is Sidney.. my best friend."
"Just your best friend?" Sidney said.
"Oh yeah, you have talked about him before." Simon said.
"Yeah, I should talk to Sidney. I'll call you later tonight." I said turning to Simon.
"Okay, babe." He said turning to go to his house.
"Babe? Seriously?" Sidney said after Simon was gone.
"Sidney." I said coming up and touching his arm.
"Don't do that. Don't act like I am overreacting."
"Let's just go for a drive and talk."
"Now you want to explain everything? You didn't even mention this Simon kid and I find you holding his hand walking around campus? You didn't even remember that I was coming back today?"
"Sidney, I'm sorry."
"How stupid am I.. The first thing I wanted to go was come see you and then I find you like this?"
"Its not like that, Sidney. It doesn't change anything."
"How doesn't it change anything?"
"you are still my best friend.. you are still the most important person in my life."
"Some best friend that doesn't even know you have a boyfriend. And explain how I can be the most important person in your life and I am not your boyfriend?"
"Sidney, I told you that I didn't want us to ruin our friendship."
"No, you said you didn't want a boyfriend going into your first year of school.. well I guess Simon is the exception."
"Its not like that.. Simon plays for the guys soccer team. We are always with them and it just kind of happened."
"Yeah.. it just happened." He said.
"You know you didn't want to compromise our friendship by being together, well Jo I'm pretty sure its already been comprimsed by you lying about dear ole Simon."
"This is what I didn't want to happen!" I said getting mad at him.
"Really cause I wanted this to happen! I wanted to see the girl I love holding hands with some British dude. Thats how I wanted my welcome home to be."
"Sidney, I'm sorry. I don't know what you want me to say. I like him."
"You like him more than you like me?"
"Don't ask me to compare you two."
"Why not? It should be pretty easy.. since I'm the MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN YOUR LIFE!" He said getting angry.
"I love you and it doesn't compare to what me and Simon are. Simon and I have been together for a few weeks.. I've known you for like two years.. me and you.. we are just us."
"Now you and Simon and be an us."
"Sidney, I watched you date girls when I loved you. I stood back and let you do that because thats what you wanted, can't you just do that for me?"
"Sure..I'll stand back but I'm not promising that anything will be the same after this."
"Don't say that." I said looking at him and he just looked away. We then sat infront of my mom's store for what seemed like eternity. "Sidney, take it back." I said yelling at him.
"I don't make promises I can't keep."
"Me being with him doesn't change me and you. You are my best friend.. he's my boyfriend."
"I'm your best friend that you couldn't tell about your boyfriend. Explain how that works? If you couldn't tell me about him I think that means you know its wrong."
"Sidney, I really don't care what you say right now because you are my best friend and nothing will change that." I said and he started driving again. "Where are you going?"
"I'm driving you back to Simon."
"We aren't done here.. I don't want to leave with us fighting like this."
"Well we aren't going to fix it tonight."
"Sidney I can't have it be this way between us."
"You made it this way." He said parking in the parking lot near my dorm and I got out of the car crying.